#18 - A Christmas Miracle: Skype

This is a little clip of our skype session with Sister Mann! We love her so. :)

#17 - And Lived Again

Dearest family,

I do not have the time to write you very much today, which is extremely sad.  But as always, your letters have really lifted me up, and its okay because I am going to TALK TO YOU next week! 

Holy cow, I love you guys.  This week has been, in the words of Ned from Groundhogs Day, "a doozy."  But here is my tiny, little message:  Jesus Christ loves us, and God responds to our prayers.  Even when things aren't pretty in our lives, we can be grateful if we trust in Christ.  Because with Christ, everything works out in the end.  I trust in Him.  I believe in Him.  I love our Savior.  I am realizing this Christmas what we are celebrating.  It has nothing to do with presents and trees.   It is the fact that Jesus Christ lived, died, and lived again.  And He loves us.

So sorry this is too short, but next week we will talk.  And to all my family, and especially to the grandparents: I love you.  I love you.  Merry Christmas!   

I love you!  Next week!

#16 - Burnt Orange Curtains

Dear Diary,

It has been raining for a week straight.  I don't know if these storms will ever stop.  I fear I may never be dry again.

Uh, but really.  It has not stopped raining for a week straight!  And nothing EVER dries.  Everything is starting to smell...  

Anyway, thats enough talking about the weather. Hello, my dear loved ones. 

A few little Tahiti things:
I don't know how to describe this certain aspect of the Tahitian culture.  Its like no one is ever surprised.  Little things that would just send us into an uproar make absolutely no difference.  For instance, the other morning the relief society held a big breakfast for all the sisters, and they put a ton of work into it.  Were all sitting around eating our pineapple and whatnot, and this disgusting dog comes slinking around the tables, bugging everyone.  No one says a word.  Now if we were eating breakfast as the Hyde Park first ward and a possibly rabid dog started slinking around us, what would we do?  Surely a Priesthood holder would shoo him away or something!  But no one ever talks about all the weird little things that happen.  I am constantly surprised and everyone else is never surprised.  I guess that's called culture shock.

The picture is of my very first English class!  Yes, folks, Ms. Mann the English professor is alive and well in Tahiti!  The idea is to get this going and have people invite investigators.  I feel quite lost most of the time here, but I will tell you something- my hour and a half next to a chalkboard was one of the highlights of my week.  I felt like me for a minute!  I even wore a cardigan just to feel teacher-y.  And I put a jar of flowers on the table.  I love teaching!  I hope this leads us to some investigators!

This picture is of my bedroom and my companion who walked in unexpectedly   I will never forget these huge burnt orange curtains and the smell of detergent, mold, sweat, and perfume that permeates this room.  Lots and lots of heartfelt prayers have been offered every morning and night next to the bed on the far left.  This tiny little room in Tahiti is a place where I am learning to love and trust my Heavenly Father with all my heart.

This week I had an experience with an inactive member that made my whole week worth it.  We are helping her come back to the gospel and regroup her family, and she its been amazing to see the change in her eyes over the past couple weeks.  We sat on a little bench under a tarp-roof, and I asked her, What is your biggest dream for your family?  I will always remember the way I felt when she told me that she wants her family sealed in the Temple. 

The Temple is real.  Families really are forever.  I miss you guys so bad, but if my investigator gets her family sealed in the Temple, it will be worth all the time I spend in Tahiti.

I love you.  

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us.

Have a happy week!
Soeur Mann

#15 - Childlike Faith

Bonjour, famille!

Well here I am, one month down in good ol' Tahiti.  First of all:  I.  Love.  You.  I will never ever be done telling you people how much I love you.

Second of all, my very own Hi Dad Soup is my bishop!  I can't wait for my next Bishop's interview! I am so, so happy for you, Dad.  I am so happy for my Hyde Park First Ward that I love so much!  I will be praying for you every single day!

Bernie, have you made your Christmas list yet?  I hope that this year is the year you finally get some blue hair dye and a stinking bag to put your clothes in.  

Mom, have you bought Dad some slippers from Kohls yet?  I hope the house is all glowy and cozy and nice these days.  And I am very happy to hear that you talk to me every day, cuz sometimes I talk to you too. 

Mill, I didn't even realize that you'll be speaking Portuguese!  Sigga say wha?  I thought it was Spanish, but duh, Brazil is Portuguese!  You're getting your CNA?  What the heck is going on over there?  I know why you're getting your CNA.  So you can take good care of Pappa when he is old.  That's very nice of you.

I really, really miss you guys.  I really, really, really, reeeeeally love you guys.
Things are going well- sometimes the ups, sometimes the downs, all the time amazing blessings from Heavenly Father.

Here are some things you don't know about my mission that you should know:

This is one of those places where you kiss everyone on the cheek when you see them.  Even strangers.  Before church starts, we go around and say Bonjour to everyone and do the kiss on cheek thing.  It is very hard not to be friends with someone after you just did that.

I realized why it feels like everyone is family.  It's cuz literally everyone is family.  I am SO confused all the time about who is related to who.  Absolutely everyone is everyone's in-law. 

This is also one of those places where you stand at the edge of the yard and yell for the person in the house, never knock on the door. 

The people here have the most incredible faith you've ever seen.  It really humbles me.  I think often about the phrase "childlike faith."  When you're little, you don't have any doubt at all that God exists and answers your prayers and performs miracles for you.  That's how so many of the Tahitians are.  They believe in actual miracles, and they really do see them.  Its astounding and humbling and beautiful.

I had a really cool experience this week.  A big chunk of the work we do is with inactive members.  This area is full, full, full of inactive members.  This week we had a lesson with a lady and I was in charge of delivering the message.  I prayed about it in the morning and had no idea what I would share.  I really had no direction, but I remembered that the Lord told us that if we seek His word first, He will give us what we need to say in the very moment we need it.  So I just did my study the best I could, and left without any idea what I would share.

Later in the day, it was time for the lesson.  We were hiking up the steep, rocky road to her house, and I was praying in my heart for help, because I still didn't know what I would say.  Out of nowhere, literally out of nowhere, the story of Moses and the brass serpent came to my mind.  So I grabbed my scriptures and searched for it while we hiked up the hill.

I shared the story for the lesson, and it was truly miraculous how the Spirit worked.  She'd never heard the story before, and it was not too easy to explain in French.  But when I finished explaining, and asked if she understood, she went on and on in detail, explaining exactly what it meant and how it applied to her, and how it was an answer to all the thoughts she'd been having that week.    She was so touched, and the Spirit was so strong.  I couldn't believe it.  He really, literally gave me the exact thing to say.

This picture is of a sweet family we are teaching, also an inactive family.  The mom is single and takes care of all these kids on her own.  The lessons are nuts because they are in Tahitian and the kids are so rowdy, but I love these kids a lot.  Yesterday in church, one of the little girls was there, and I helped her sing the hymn, and we gave her some cookies to eat.  I don't think I taught her very much in the lessons, but she knows I love her, and I think that's teaching a lesson, too.

I love you all with all my heart.  One little last thought, it being the Christmas season- I remember Luke Hollingsworth and I talking one time about Christ's hands when he was a baby.  I keep thinking about that.  There is something incredibly beautiful in that thought.

Much, much love,

Soeur Mann

#14 - Believe in Love

Myyyyyy family is my favorite pal, and I love them every day!!!!

Hi, Mom!  Hi, Dad!  Hi, Mill!  Hi, Berns!  Hi, Benny!  If there is one thing I want to say, its this:  I love you.  Holy cow, I love you guys so much.  

THANK YOU for your emails.  Please keep writing me every week and talk about whatever the heck you want.  And please write me letters! I will try and send some, too.  They are apparently faster going out than going in.

Fam, I miss you so bad.   But I'm realizing that its okay, and you know why?  Because we love each other.  And I believe in love.  Our family knows that love is not just an emotion, but a real, binding, eternal power.  If you really believe in Jesus Christ, you believe that.  I cant really express this in an email, especially with a time constraint, but I want you to know that I really believe in families.  I believe they last forever.  I love you with all my heart, and I know that it is really only through Jesus Christ that we are the happy, eternal family we are.  And I love Him for that.  

Now I would like to tell you a story.  One morning this week I was trying to do personal study next to my companion and our friend Hereti.  The stress and loneliness of the language and homesickness was just wearing on me so bad.  I quietly left the table and went into the bathroom, knelt down and cried.  I cried and cried.  My companions eventually figured out what was going on and kinda comforted me, and I brushed myself off and moved on.

Later that day we had a first lesson with an older lady.  She brought us onto her patio and introduced us to her mom, a very, very old lady, all wrinkled and small.  Her eyes are kind of cloudy with cataracts, and she can barely hear or talk.  During the lesson my companion talked with the first lady, but I just kept eye contact with this sweet old woman.  She kept pointing to her ears and mouth, trying to explain to me that she couldnt understand.  

My heart was just bursting.  Everyone else kept talking, but I just stared at this lady with all the love I could possibly give.  For the whole lesson, I held her gaze and smiled.   At the end, I went over and stroked her hand and kissed her on the head.  Neither of us followed everything in the lesson, but we had spoken to each other.  As we rode our bikes away, I cried for the second time that day, out of gratitidue for the beautiful way God teaches us.  Without the pain of the morning, I wouldnt have understood this womans frustration they way I did.  But because of my small suffering, I was able to relate to her and love her with a real sincerity.  

Life is beautiful!
All my love, 
Soeur Mann

#13 - Brazil!

Oh my heck, Brazil! AMELIA! HUZZAH!!!  This is all so crazy!  Missionary work going nuts all over the place!  Millzie, I love you.  I am so, so, so happy for you!  This really is the work of Heavenly Father.  It really is all about bringing joy to people.  Hooray for Irma Mann!!!

Okay, some updates from Tahiti!
This email is way late because we had a zone conference today!  My very first zone conference.  I love President Sinjoux.  Hes one of those people who just looks straaaaight into your soul when he looks at you.  But not in a scary way.  Hes wonderful.
This email is going to have references to the Grandmanns!  First, Grandma Mann, I have found you a Tahitian best friend!  Her name is Mami Brodien.  Everyone her over the age of 50 or so is called Mami or Papi, which means Grandma and Grandpa.  Its extremely confusing.  But anyhoo, I love Mami Brodien with all my heart.  She reminds me of you, Grandma.  I had a sweet experience with her, sitting on her porch, and she taught me some French while I taught her English.  And she spoke so slow and softly and kindly, and for an hour or so, and she truly made me feel loved.  She is just like Grandma Mann, so aware of peoples needs, so hospitable and gentle and funny.  I will love her forever.

The next reference to the Grandmanns:  This weekend I thought a lot about Grandpa Mann's story from his mission when he got an ulcer and his companion told him over and over, Just dooon't get toooo excited   Why did I think about that story?  Because I was on the verge of ulcer this week? I think.   We got a call after we'd gone to bed telling us that my companion was taking a trip the next morning to attend the baptism of a couple who'd requested her presence.  So she left at 7 AM the next morning, and I had a new companion for the weekend.  Who didn't know the area or the investigators or anything.  And it was hard.  I'm gettin' nauseous just thinkin' about it.  I learned a lot of humility, and when my companion returned, I ran into her arms yelling, Mamma!  Ha ha.  Sometimes we learn to appreciate our companions the hard way.

Other picture, a family home evening we did tonight.  Crazy, loud, disorganized, family home evening.  Just how we like em!

I love you all so much!  I miss you to death.  I love you.

Na na for now!
Soeur Mann

#12 - Love You to Death

Family! I love you so much! I miss you so much! I love you!  Oh, reading your emails just did me so much good.  And I got your present with all the letters- you saved my life with that.  Really.  That was the best present I ever received for my birthday. Thank you!

How I WISH I could say everything I want to say to you all!  First of all- AMELIA MANN.  YOUR MISSION CALL IS COMING.  HUZZAH! I cant wait to find out where youre going!  I hope its Tahiti!  Heh heh.  But really.  Im too excited to sleep for you!!!!!   

In answer to some of your questions:
1.  I am eating... everything.  Remember how I'm kind of a picky eater, especially with meat?  Na-na.  (Tahitian for goodbye)   I am just eating whatever they put in front of me, including raw fish.  And they think I'm cool because of it.  My dear friend Papi Opuu is so proud of me not being a picky American.  Most of the time the food is really good.  The other part of the time it is revolting.  But I don't even care.  Raw fish!  Yum!

2.  The bike is working.  One thing that isn't working is riding a bike with a skirt.  I'll keep working on that.  But its really fun to ride a bike here.  When all else fails, I can at least say, Hey.  I'm ridin' a bike in Tahiti.  This is cool.  You can't even imagine how beautiful it is here.  It literally rains flowers.  This morning I was sitting on the ground and this exquisite yellow flower just plopped on my lap from the sky.  They are everywhere, all kinds!  Its so frustrating because all I want to do is talk about how incredible everything is, but I can barely talk, and when I do, they're like... yeah.  The ocean.  We know.  Ha ha.  It's truly paradise.

3. I email from the bishops office.  You can email me!  It takes time from writing, but thats better than waiting forever for one word from you.  But you can write letters, too.  Please do!  

4.  I have a bathroom!  And toilet paper!  The first one is not too rare here, but the second one is!  There is no hot water anywhere, so every day I say a prayer for courage before I get in the shower.  I really do.  I am looking very Tahitian these days.  No make up, hair in bun on top of head, sandals with skirt.  I even have some tan lines.

The first photo of me with two girls- Me, my companion Seour Ruaroo, and an incredible person named Hereti, who does everything with us just because she wants to help.  I love both these girls so much.  They are so kind and patient.  Soeur Ruaroo has actually already served a mission!  She came back out because they needed more missionaries to train us new Americans!  Can you believe that?  She is beautiful.  
 
You may notice that Im smiling a little too hard in the photo.  That is the face of a girl who has no idea whats going on.  Wow, its hard! It is SO hard not being able to communicate well.  I have so much going on in my head all the time, and it drives me nuts that I can't communicate.  The good thing-  I am praying like never before.  I have never felt so close to God with such consistency.  I am learning some true humility.  He is real.  He is real.

The second picture- I family I will love forever, the Opuu Family.  Papi and Mami Opuu are my surrogate parents here.  This picture is at their home- the gave me a bunch of hand me down clothes because I don't have the Tahitian build they all have.  Real Tahitian clothes!  And I had to do a fashion show and take a picture with every skirt.  I wore one of the skirts to church, and I felt quite beautiful, even without make up.  I'm learning a lot about beauty from these people.

It's all much, much harder than I imagined.  Just the language.  But I'm learning little by little.  And already I have had some very special moments of real communication, heart to heart.  I love these people so much already.  There are some actual angels in Tahiti, people that I will love forever because of simple kindness they've offered me. 

Family, here is the goal for this week.   Help the missionaries.  Get their number, call them up, and do something to help them.  Go visit people with them, help them brainstorm for how to help the area, teach them English, do something. 

 And with everyone, be kind.  Ive never been more lost or lonely, but I am continually saved by the truly simple kindness of a few people who take the time, and that 

I love the Savior with all my heart.  He is there.

I love you all so much! So, so much!  Faaitoito!  -Seour Mann 

#11 - In Tahiti!!!!

People! I am in Tahiti!!!!

Oh, there are SO, so, so many things I want to say right now! Unfortunately the keyboards here are not the same, so its taking forever to do this.  So if you see errors, just keep reading and pay no heed.

 

OKAY.  The first thing I need to say about Tahiti: the people are incredible.  I know that missionaries say that in every single mission, but this is really amazing. I've really never seen anything like it.  They really are just like Id heard, all one big family.  I think I will just start from the beginning.

 

I'll start with a question: Have you ever been trying to make a connection flight to Tahiti, realized you left your passport on the last plane, run back to find it, had your companion taken away from you, actually done the movie thing where you say to the people in the security line "Excuse me, everyone! I'm in an emergency!" and cut every single person in line, sprinted to and fro by yourself in LAX airport, carrying a heavy bag, for 45 minutes straight, while getting all sorts of directions from all sorts of strangers, been absolutely totally lost on the very first day in the field, finally found your passport, said a deeply sincere prayer, miraculously found your companion  and received a ride out to the actual tarmac where the jumbo plane to your mission is waiting?

 

I have.

 

So that's that story! True adventures already!

 

I wish so bad that I could just send you a live stream of everything that is happening in my life and that I had the time to explain everything! I guess I'll just have to tell you the main things:

My companion is wonderful.  I will always, always be grateful to Heavenly Father for giving me Soeur Ruaroo as my trainer.  She is so kind, so patient.  She's from Bora Bora, and she actually finished her mission, but she extended to stay and train.  I love her so much.  We are reopening an area called Papenoo.  Can you imagine how she felt when we got to our house and she has a brand new American girl to train and she has never been here, neither of know a soul?  Well let me tell you a miracle that happened.  Five minutes after we arrive at our home, we walk across the street to see the ocean.  (Yes.  Across the street.)  We run into a sweet old lady who is walking down the street for some reason and happens to be a member.  Mami Opou.  Our first friend! (Every old person here is called Mami, its so sweet.) She immediately took us to meet our dear friends, the...somethings.  Viahio or something. I still cant tell what they're saying.  The second we entered their tiny wooden home, they gave us hugs, food, and real pearl earrings.  That's the kind of thing I'm talking about:   There is no "Who are you, we have to get to know each other before we're friends" business.  Instant family.  They live right by us, they park their car in the church lot, so we can see if they are home, which is great:  Oh yes, I didn't say yet that our home is practically attached to the church. Just a little apartment.  Frere Viahio is extremely kind, he talks slow so I can understand.  They are probably 30 years old or something.  I told you they have a car, but its weird that they do because they are very poor.  They have a baby who is adorable.

 

I have no idea what anyone is saying! If they talk slow I can usually follow, but most of the time not really.  And there is tons of Tahitian going on!  I understand 0% of that:  I bore my testimony yesterday in both our wards, so that was good.  Everyone understood, they say. Who knows.

 

The chicken thing is real! The cockroach thing is real! The homeless dogs are real! But none of that has bugged me at all.  Heavenly Father has blessed me with a lot of calm.  Its so different here, but I feel totally fine. 

 

It takes a long time to attach photos, so here are just a couple.  More next week!

 

Photo 1: Our home on the left, church on the right, jungle in the back, horribly sick dog named Pluto on the side.

Photo 2: First arrived in Tahiti! At the Temple! They let us take a shower and a nap at the apartments there.  I'm thinking it was the last warm shower of my mission!  We then ate at the Presidents house and got assignments and stuff.  I don't really know what we ate.  I never quite know what I'm eating:  I think there was fish?  But I'm just taking an " up for whatever" attitude.  Its working so far.

 

I miss you a lot. A lot.  I'm definitely feeling those beginning of the mission feelings that everyone talks about:  Its alright though, all will be well.  I love you, I love you, I love you!

#10 - That's What Colleagues Are For

10/30/12

Dearest, Funniest, Helpfulest, Loving, Good Family!

Here is my last letter from the MTC! Which, by the way, I still love!

One night this week we walked into our room, all five of us roommates and I said, “Let’s pretend this is a hotel!”  It was an absolute stroke of brilliance.  For the next twenty minute we gushed about this “amazing hotel where they serve continental breakfast, lunch, and dinner,” and how, “it’s so fancy that everyone has to dress up all the time.”  We found so many funny little things to love.  Pretty sure I learned this trick from watching, “The Little Princess” with Shirley Temple.  Thank you, Shirley.

I’m learning a lot through being a companion.  One thing I learned about this week is real help.  Soeur Barker had a rough night the other night, feeling stressed about Tahitian.  She started to tell us how discouraged she was, and Soeur Green and I did the wrong thing.  We immediately tried to cheer her up.  Before she could really finish her thought, we were saying, “Don’t say that!  Think positive! Come on, you just need to keep trying!”  And we just said all this blah, blah, blah and eventually she stopped talking about it.  Later I thought about it and realized, “I hate when people do that.”  The truth is that most of the time when you are discouraged, you know what to do.  You know about being positive and keep trying and all that.  Sometimes you just need a friend to say, “You’re right.  That is really hard.”  I’ve been thinking about the quote that says something like, “You can’t help someone up if you are not on higher ground.”  I think that’s true.  But you can’t just stand up there yelling at them to climb out.  What you’re really supposed to do is bend down and give them a hand.  My relationship with God has grown a lot since I’ve been here, and one of the greatest comforts I’ve found is that I can tell him how I really feel.  I think I used to feel a little bit like I had to be perfect in front of God.  But, I’ve realized that, for one thing, he already knows how I really feel, so there’s no point in trying to appear like something I’m not.  And for another, a true loving relationship is one where you are comfortable enough to say, “I’m struggling, will you help me?” and trust that the other person will hear you, feel for you, never judge, and reach down with gentleness to pull you up.  So I guess there are a lot of ideas in this thought.  It’s okay to admit weakness.  And if you’re the one on “higher ground” in the situation, remember how it feels and bend down and give a hand.

One of our companionship’s greatest strengths is song-writing.  We have a couple of good ones, but I think we just created our greatest hit.  We wrote it while we were brushing our teeth.  It’s called, “That’ What Colleagues Are For.”  In French, you call your companions, “colleagues.” That’s funny in and of itself.  Anyhoo, this song is really good.  The way it works is you think of a situation in which a colleague really came in handy.  You sing about it.  Then you finish with the chorus.  Example:  “Remember that time when I borrowed your toothpaste?  (chorus) That’s what colleagues are fooo-ooor!!”

French = great.  Tahitian = still really hard.  But I had a great moment last night.  It was our last class as a whole district with Frere Coulsen (teacher) because the French elders are leaving tomorrow.  It was a strange moment because everyone could sense the reality of us actually going.  It was my turn to say the closing prayer, and when I stood up, my heart was just pounding.  I was amazed when I opened my mouth and said a sincere prayer in Tahitian and truly expressed my feelings.  It was one of the first times I’ve felt like I was actually speaking Tahitian, not just stumbling through memorized words.  I can’t wait to meet the people who actually speak this amazing language!

Yesterday we made some Halloween treat bags to give away.  Soeur Green’s mom sent us some supplies and candy, so during our little break after gym, we all sat on the floor and put them together.  We’re going to give them to our elders and I guess just people who look they could use some Halloween love.  And speaking of Halloween, I would like to discuss something.  One thing I was excited about for my mission what the idea of not losing things.  We all know how often I lose things.  I figured that when I’m living out of a couple of suitcases I wouldn’t have enough things to lose track of.  Wrong.  I am constantly misplacing things.  I imagine it’s pretty obnoxious to my companions.  Luckily they are kind enough not to make me feel stupid about it.   Instead, we blame it on “All Hallow’s Eve”.  We’ve just decided it’s all a result of the spooky Halloween atmosphere, things just disappearing left and right.  Well, tomorrow Halloween will be over, so I guess I had better get my act together.

Last night I was too excited to sleep.  You know when you’re seven years old and you’re sleeping at Grandma’s house on Christmas Eve and you keep curling up your toes and squeezing the covers around your chin because you are simply too excited to sleep?  That was me last night!  And all my roommates!  Because Tahiti is in three days!  It’s funny though, because we were all trying to be obedient and go to sleep at 10:30.  So I’m just laying there silently on my bunk bed, not saying a word knowing full well that there are four other girls lying silently on their beds next to me, also too excited to sleep!

During gym yesterday, Soeur Green and I were running around on our beloved field, and we decided to take a minute to just lie on the ground.  So we walked to the middle of the grass and did that.  And for a few minutes we just felt the grass and stared at the mountains and breathed the cool, dry air of Utah.  I’m so excited to go, but I’m going to miss home.

And I suppose it’s time to go.  By the time you actually get this, I will actually be in Tahiti, smack in the middle of the Pacific, maybe peddling around in my skirt and helmet.  So here’s the last thing I want to write while I’m still here.  This week someone asked us a really good question.  They were wondering why we think we can claim that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the only true church on the earth when there are wonderful churches and wonderful people all over the world.  I’ve thought a lot about it and this is how I feel. 

I believe in goodness.  I love good literature and art, I love good conversations and ideas, and I understand that people all over the world believe in goodness too.  People in Mozambique and Hong Kong and Israel, who have never heard of the church, are loving their families, studying scripture, working honestly, and successfully worshipping God.  I realize that am from Cache Valley, Utah, and I have only a very small understanding of religion and spirituality in a world-wide sense.  Sometimes I get a little confused by this.  Sometimes it does seem a little crazy for me to leave my country and walk around telling people that I, a little white girl from Utah, happen to know the truth.  But the reality is, I’m not claiming to personally know everything.  I don’t understand all things spiritual.  I frankly don’t know a whole lot.  But I do know that God lives.

I don’t know everything, but I can say with all my heart that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ live.  They love us.  It is my personal testimony that we lived with Them before, and that They sent us here with a purpose.  We are here to learn and grow and become and eventually return home, changed and saved by the Atonement of our Savior Jesus Christ.  The gospel of Jesus Christ is not a good idea or another branch of American culture.  It is reality.

I can speak for myself and say that the Book of Mormon is true.  I can say that because I’ve read it and thought about it and prayed about it, and I know it.  The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints was restored by Jesus Christ through a real prophet, Joseph Smith. And because of that, I am sealed to my family forever.  And I am a truly, truly joyful person.

So, here I go!  I’m gonna do it!  I want all my family and friends to know how much I love you.  Even when we’re not physically together, I am constantly blessed by the relationships in my life.  I’m not really sure how the mail will be in Tahiti, so there may not be great communication for the next 16 months.   So if I don’t really hear much from you, or you don’t really hear much from me, it’s okay.  I love you.

Alright, goodbye United States!  See you soon!

All my love,

Soeur Mann

#9 - The Fish and The Chickens

Bonjour!  

This was a crazy p-day!  I was trying to get myself organized for Tahiti, and in the end it just looks like a wild hog got loose in my room.  And the point is that I didn't write a big letter for a weekly update.  I'm sorry, fam!  I can guarantee that next week will be a nice, juicy letter, though, because I asked my branch pres if I could just keep a list of things I want to say throughout the week and then send it off.  He said that would be fine.  So I'm going to try and just jot down thoughts and things throughout the week. 

But here are some things I can say this week:

- I am leaving for Tahiti in 10 days.  It feels so surreal.  I am so excited.  I am so nervous!  It's so weird because I still feel like I have no concept of where I'm headed.  I can't even imagine what it's going to look like or feel like, or anything!  But I am much more excited than nervous!  I wonder what the first meal I eat there will be.  Probably fish.  Oh!  And guess what?  This is the scariest thing ever!  You know how I HATE chickens?!  Like haaaaate chickens?  Well apparently there are chickens everywhere! Just roaming around pecking feet!  (Actually, I made up the pecking feet thing.  But I really am worried about that.)  Those are the things I'm worried about.  The fish and the chickens.  And the fact that I'm not even close to speaking Tahitian.  But those are just little things.  So it's alright.

- Speaking of Tahitian- it is so hard.  If you want to do a fun activity and learn more about speaking Tahitian, try this:  Spend 5 minutes trying to teach about the Plan of Salvation without using the words am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, has, have, should, will, or could.  Because those words don't exist in Tahitian.  Ha ha!  It's so crazy!  Ít's so cool, though!  It's such a sincere language.  Nothing fluffy.  My favorite Tahitian word is "faahanahanahia." It means "glorified." Doesn't that word just seem glorified?

- So, I love the mission so far.  It has been wonderful and fun, and I have learned a lot.  I should let you know, though, that it's not always a piece of cake.  Everyone says that when they get home, and it's true.  The MTC is wonderful most of the time, and a little bit of the time it is so utterly, 100% hard. One day this week I was plain old annoyed.  It really was a rough day.  Soeur Barker was sick so me and Soeur Green were doing gym in teh hallway of our residence.  It was miserable.  But then guess what?  The other two soeurs came along and started working out with us, and pretty soon we were rolling on the floor, laughing so hard!  And I thought, "Friends are the best thing in the world." In the end, friends are all that matter.  If you are reading this, it means you're my friend.  And I want you to know that I truly, truly love you.  I''m so thankful Heavenly Father gave us friends.

Much love! -Soeur Mann

#8 - Mistakes Are The Plan

October 16, 2012

Hello, everyone!  Here I am.  Less than three weeks until I am actually living in Tahiti.  On a mission. Hooray! I hope everyone is happy and safe and having a nice, cozy mid-October week!

Here are some things I want to say:

I still love the MTC.  Have I ever mentioned "The Nook"?  The nook is a little area outside our classroom with a big huge window facing the mountains.  When I look back on my MTC mission, I think there are two things I will first remember.  1. The lemon poppyseed muffins in the cafeteria with sugary stuff on top.  (Only half kidding.  They've been a big part of this.)  2.  The Nook.  Actually, there are definitely other things that I will remember before that, but The Nook will truly be a good memory forever.  I have learned a lot just by sitting next to that window, looking out at the mountains, and thinking.  Right now the view is gorgeous with all the fall colors. We spend so much time studying by that window that many days I watch the sun just waking up over the mountains and set on the other end of the valley at night, broken up by class time and meals and things.  I've really learned the importance of pondering.  Some of the best moments of clarity and understanding I've had here have been sparked by five minutes of reading and then lots of minutes just looking out the window. There are a lot of restrictions here- no music, no internet, no newspaper, all that, and it is hard sometimes, but it gives you a lot of space to think.  

I would just like to share this funny moment that happened last night. Every day, Elder Gervasi grabs a bag of chips and keeps it under his desk to eat at night when he gets back to his room. Last night he stood up to say the prayer, and somehow Elder Calves snuck the bag of chips onto Elder Gervasi's seat.  Elder Gervasi finished the prayer, sat down, and actually sat on his very own big of chips.  I'm sorry, I know that's not reverent to do during a prayer, but that was just too funny.  I couldn't stop laughing for a good five minutes. 

I've been thinking a lot this week about mistakes.  Here's what I've learned.  There is a goal to this life, and it is to become something.  We're supposed to learn and discover and gain wisdom, and then we're supposed to use that wisdom to become something great.  One of the ways we learn best is by making mistakes.  I've read 2 Nephi 2 over and over and over this week thinking about this idea.  The chapter says that all things exist by contrast- without sadness, there is no happiness; without dark there is not light, and all these opposites.  Without contrast, nothing exists.  So basically, you've got to know some bad to know some good.  I've been thinking about the fall of Adam and how we all treat it kind of like it's this really sad thing, like, "Dang.  I can't believe Eve messed up and ate the fruit, and they had to get cast out of that pretty garden and start working." But the scriptures say that this was all part of the plan.  Isn't that interesting?  How could the fall be part of the plan? I think I'm beginning to understand that mistakes are always a part of the plan because mistakes are the plan.  You learn by experience, you learn by contrast.  This is not the same thing as purposefully making bad choices.  It's not right to live lawlessly and thoughtlessly and hope that you learn something.  The point is to honestly try your best, and when you learn something, you live it.  But the truth is that you're going to make mistakes, even if you're trying.  And that's why the Savior atoned for us.  I really have a testimony of God's perfect love, and I really believe that Christ can allow us to overcome mistakes.  So my point is this- life is supposed to be lived with faith, not fear.  It's okay to really try your very best, and if you make mistakes, it's okay.  God knew you would, and He will help you learn from them if you let Him. 

I love you all with all my heart!  Have a happy week!  Much love, 

Soeur Mann

#7 - Two Sister Manns

October 9, 2012

First of all, conference was amazing!  I wish everyone could watch conference from the MTC- it was so cool!  And of course, the very best part: Sisters can leave at 19!!!  What do you think 2000 missionaries did when the prophet announced this?  I will tell you.  We honestly and truly cheered!  Ha ha! :)  And then I cried and cried.  Soeur Green cried too, and she turned to me and said, "Why are we crying?" I know a lot of people were touched because they know that this new announcement will change missionary work- hopefully we will get so many sister missionaries in the field!  But when she asked me, all I could say was, "My sister!" I just knew how she was feeling right at that moment, and I was so happy! Hallelujah!  Two Sister Manns in the field!!!  :)

Tahitian is crazy.  The other night we were all prepped to teach our "investigator" in French, had a good little outline, and then we look in the peephole of the room we're supposed to teach in, and our teacher is not our teacher!  He is wearing flip flops, board shorts, and a black, curly wig!  And we knew exactly what that meant.  Dear ol' Frere Coulson decided to play a little trick on us, and we knew that the second he opened the door, he wasn't going to speak French.  Just imagine our panic. We tried to remember every possible thing we know in Tahitian, said a prayer, and then knocked on the door!  And indeed, he answered with, ""Ia ora na!" So we just went from there.  It was absolutely ridiculous.  A lot of pointing.  A lot of blank looks.  And afterword, a lot of laughter.  Woohoo!  Tahitian!

Here's a little thought I had this week.  Everything in the whole world is weird.  If you think real hard about anything, it seems bizarre.  Think about eating food. We put stuff that grows out of the ground in our mouths, chomp it up, and eat it. And it keeps us alive.  How weird is that?  The reason I'm saying that is because when it comes to the gospel, sometimes stuff seems weird or too good to be true.  But I think the first question you can ask is, "Why not?" Because there's really no reason.  And if you start there and then start praying and studying and living it, you'll get the answer: "Of course."  The gospel is real life.  It really is this good.  

Much love to all of you!

Soeur Mann

#6 - Crazy, Beautiful, Fascinating

October 2, 2012

Alright, folks.  

Let’s talk about Tahitian.  I don’t even know where to start with this.  Okay, one thing:  The word for “day” and “sun” is the same.  And “months” and “moons.”  Do you understand what that means?  It means I am learning a language where they actually say, “It has been many moons since I've seen you.”  This language is the real deal! (By the way, I think that phrase will be very natural to me, thanks to my Native American heritage.)  It is such a crazy, beautiful, fascinating language.  Tahitian is all about circumlocution, which is where you say a word by describing it.  For example, there’s no word for “waterfall.”  You just say something like, “The place where the water falls from a high place.”  It takes a long time to say things.  It’s funny because I feel like French and Tahitian are total opposites.  French is all about exactness.  You have very, very specific grammar rules, and you always know the number, gender, and specific tense of everything.  Tahitian is the open, get-the-feel-of-it language.  And both are so beautiful. 

On Wednesday, I was feeling a little (a lot) overwhelmed because two languages just seemed insane.  But while I was running during gym, I had this very clear thought come to me and remind me that this mission call is such a cool blessing from a sweet Heavenly Father.  He’s given me the chance to learn two beautiful languages.  I asked my teacher a few nights ago, “Will I use a lot of Tahitian?  Am I really going to use this?”  He assured me that I would, that lots of people speak Tahitian.  But last night he came back and said, “I want to change my answer to your question.  You’ll probably use Tahitian a lot.  But even if you don’t, even if you only teach one other person in Tahitian, would it be worth this effort to bring them the gospel?”  And it absolutely would be.  It’s so cool to be doing something that really, really matters.  And you know what?  The language is going to work out just fine!  This week our district made a goal to only speak French.  We can speak English during gym or if it is necessary to explain something about Tahitian (We really do learn Tahitian through French!). And yesterday was a long day of French-speaking.  You know how babies can create their own baby-friend languages?  Sometimes when our district speaks French, it feels like that.  Like we’re just babbling along and barely understanding each other.  J  But last night I experienced two little miracles: 1. One of the French elders taught me a lesson, and 2. I had a conversation with Sister Pea, a new sister here from Tahiti!  And you know what?  It worked!  I understood them, even with their accents.  I've got a loooong way to go with both languages, but it’s going to work out!

Two songs that everyone should listen to again: “The Prayer” by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman, and “Savior, Redeemer of My Soul,” from the movie 17 Miracles.  I’m always singing these songs in my head because we've heard them here.  They are so beautiful.

I think when I get home, if I can, I’ll get licensed to teach French along with English and Psychology!  I wonder how hard it would be.  Wouldn't that be cool though?

I’d like to say something.  The MTC is definitely not a prison.  It does have a lot of rules, but it’s fun.  The teachers are funny, the employees are funny, and the presidency is funny!  They’re all just normal people.  It a different life, but it’s still fun.  I’m glad I’m a missionary during the PMG stage of missionary work.  I've heard lot of people say, “Missionaries are robots.  The MTC turns people into robots.”  That is so far from the truth!  They tell us constantly, “Teach from your heart! Teach what you really know!  Share your sincere, personal testimony!”  Missionary work is just real people helping real people.  Elder Holland said in a talk that, “ Missionary work is not separated from real life.  This is the closest to real life you’re ever going to get.”  All day, every day is about service and love and the things that matter most.  It’s awesome.

I LOVE the Book of Mormon.  I to talk to Levi Williams here (wonderful!) and he changed my life.  He said that I should never read the Book of Mormon without a purpose.  And it really has changed the way I study.  I am gaining a deeper and deeper testimony of the Book of Mormon every day.

This week I remembered one of my favorite quotes.  It’s from  C.S. Lewis, and it’s longer than this, but one part says, “Your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”  There are so many beautiful things in the world – landscapes, art, literature, music, and they are all fascinating and important.  But people are the only thing that really matter

I love you, I truly, truly love you!

Seour Mann

#5 - Learning Tahitian

Family!

Yesterday was day one of Tahitian!  I am so excited to learn it and also quite overwhelmed.  When our teacher walked in and started speaking Tahitian yesterday, my heart started beating a little fast.  Day One.  Again.  And for a few hours I felt a bit stressed, but here’s the good news: A) It is SO beautiful.  It is unlike any language you’ve heard of.  Tahitian describes things in a totally different way.  We learned how to pray yesterday, and a prayer in Tahitian is the way a prayer should sound.  I’m so excited to learn this beautiful language.  B) I’ve been praying for some faith with this whole two-language thing, and this is what I’ve learned, “The Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which He hath commanded them.”  And I’ve been asked to learn two languages.  So I’ll just do it.  And it’ll work out fine.  I would like to give you all your Tahitian names!  I’ll write out your names how a Tahitian would say them if she just read them out loud: Luke = Rootay, Amelia = Ahmayreeah, Jill = Reer (hmm, that one doesn’t translate too great), and Roger = Rotayr, maybe just Rotay.  L’s = rs, B = p, and whole bunch of stuff turns into t’s . . . it is crazy!  And wonderful. Keep praying for me.

 

I love my companions to death.  We have truly become good friends, and I am so thankful I got both of them.  I had a funny moment with Soeur Green the other day – she was humming a Faith Hill song, so I chimed in singing.  Turns out I’ve been singing that song wrong my whole life.  Cuz I was definitely not even close to the right words.  When I realized how dumb I looked, I felt so embarrassed, and I grabbed her in a hug and buried my face in shame, then we realized how funny the whole situation was, and we just stood in the hall and laughed and laughed.  Did I tell you that Soeur Green is six feet tall?  Some people call her Sister Barbie.  She is beautiful, and tall, and thin, but one of those cool people who’s beautiful and extremely smart and kind, too.  And I love Soeur Barker so much.  One night this week I said something snappy to her, and when I got in bed, I just couldn’t sleep.  So I croaked out, “Soeur?  I’m sorry I was mean.”  And we all laughed, but truly it felt good to say sorry, and I’m so lucky to have a companionship where we learn together and forgive each other when we mess up.

 

The French elders (“The Frenchies”) are a hoot.  It’s been fun having real-deal French-speakers with us.  Can you imagine what our little classroom sounds like?  Some people learning French, some learning English, all learning Tahitian – it’s insane in an inspiring kind of way.  They are nice boys, and quite funny.  Today I got to endure twenty minutes of teasing in French because my breakfast concoction of cottage cheese, yogurt, and pineapple apparently “looked like baby throw-up.”  But ya know what?  That stuff’s good for ya.  And I like it.

 

I love being called, “Soeur.”  We don’t even pronounce it right, we just say, “Sir.”  And it’s become quite endearing.  “Excuse me, sir!”  Ha ha!  I like being Soeur Mann.

 

We did get to watch the Brigham City Temple dedication, the third session.  I loved hearing from Pres. Packer.  What a genuinely good, sweet man.

 

We counted the steps up to our classroom: 96.  Three words: Calves. Of. Steel.

 

Here is the main thing I want to tell you, and I am not even sure how to say it.  I want you to know that I am so happy.  The more I study the gospel, the more I realize that truly, men are that they might have joy.  I’ve had many beautiful moments where things about the gospel have clicked for me, and it is like a light goes on.  Here’s what I’ve been thinking about:  All you really are is a chooser.  The only thing that makes you real and gives meaning to you is your ability to choose.  And the only reason we’re here is so we can become.  We’re supposed to become something great.  Here we are on this earth, by our own choice, and we get to make something great of ourselves if we choose to.  The thing that’s really beautiful is that you get to do this with Jesus Christ, the Creator of this world. God’s sole purpose is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man”.  Think about that.  Here we are with this big task in front of us, but we have God, the Ruler of the earth, on our side and His only interest is our success.  If you come to Christ, you honestly can become the person you want to become.  He will clean you from your flaws, He will heal you from your sorrows, He will inspire you, encourage you, and control the elements around you in a way that will best develop you.  I’ve been thinking so much about the phrase, “All things testify of Christ”, and I really believe it.  The autumn weather is one example – it is getting cold, and we know that everything is going to die.  But we know that in the spring, all the dead things will miraculously come to life and live again, just like the Savior.  The more you look around, the more you see Him, and my testimony is that a testimony of Christ is a testimony of “you can do it”!  We have a  Savior!   He really did conquer sin, He really does live.  And if you start aligning your path with His, He will do every possible thing to help you.  The only thing you need to do is choose.

 

I love this gospel with all my heart.  I’m so grateful to know what I know.  I’m thankful for the chance to express my gratitude to Heavenly Father by sharing it with the people in Tahiti.  Life is so good.  All my love, Soeur Mann

 

P.S.  Thank you, thank you for writing me!  It might take me awhile to respond because my time is limited, but to anyone who has written me – thank you.  I love you!

#4 - Strawberries in the Salads

My family!  My family, I love you!

How is everybody? I am sending you lots of hugs, too!  I love that Berns is a true band man!  Tell him that I love him so much!  Today has been really great- running outside under the stars at 6:00 AM because we don’t have gym on P-days, so we went as a companionship- I loved it!  I am having no problem waking up on time, which is a miracle!  Then we went to the Temple, and that gets more interesting and meaningful every time.  And then we sat outside and wrote letters.  I wrote you one!  Tonight is a devotional we have a general authority every week.  Every week people think it's going to be Pres. Monson.  :) Tahitian will start next week, and we will have the same teachers.  It really is SO crazy!  I don't feel stressed, because I know it will work out, but it is a tiny bit overwhelming.  I still love the French, though!  And having my new companion has been a huge blessing!  It was so hard before, because we had hours a day to study French, and we haven't gotten our French grammar books yet.  So it was the blind leading the blind.  But now we have Seour Green, and I love her! We are getting along great! 

Yes, my teachers served in Tahiti!  It's very nice, because they can tell us about the actual place.  And I love that I constantly have a goal.  I really have strengthened my relationship with Heavenly Father because I depend on Him a lot, and I have a goal that matters to Him.  It has been wonderful.  And I love when they put strawberries in the salads.  I love you all SO much!

Love,

Seour Mann

#3 - Goodness Around Me

Bonjour!!

Thank you all for your letters! I was so happy to hear about the Tony Grove hike.  Never think that you shouldn't tell me stuff like that because it might make me homesick or something.  I am doing the exact thing I want to do, and I am so happy, and I just love hearing what you are all doing.  I know I'll do the hike again in 2 summers, so it's fine.  I love hearing all the details.

I realized I haven't really explained what I'm doing over here, like what the schedule is.  Here's my schedule: Study, eat, study, eat, study, eat, study, sleep.  Repeat for 3 months.  Ha ha :)  Uh, but really. I was so surprised when I got here to find out that there is SO much study time without a teacher.  It's kind of a weird feeling here, cuz it's kind of like you're super-over-supervised, and yet you have no supervision.  Like there are many hours in the day where you are just responsible for studying with your companion, both gospel and language, and no one helps you.  I imagined we'd have more teachers, but it's good.  It's helping me learn many things.  So many things that I don't even have time to explain them.  But sometimes we do have teachers, and I love that part because it's very effective and we learn quicker.  I have two teachers- Frere Lindsey, and a sort-of new one, Frere Coulson.  The big joke at this place is this: Your third day here, they have you start teaching an "investigator" in your mission language.  Then a week and a half later, you find out that your investigator is actually your second teacher.  Anyhoo, these days both teachers spend time teaching us throughout the day.  And now both are playing the role of investigator, so Soeur Barker and I have two "investigators"- "Tom" and "Jake."  At first I thought this was very cheesy and weird.  But now I can see that it's a brilliant idea.  The main goal of missions is to teach lessons and bring investigators to Christ, and we have to practice that.  It's not like there are actually a ton of French speakers wandering around wanting to take lessons from people who speak at a kidnergarten level, so we have to role-play.  So yes, that is what I do.  I teach my two investigators and study.  And I like it!

We had a crazy change today!  We gained 4 members in our district- 3 French elders, and Soeur Green, whom I met on the San Fran trip!  All four of them speak French (including Soeur Green, who is from Utah, but is studying French in college), so they have been working with the international missionaries, learning English.  Soeur Green was helping them.  It's so great to have 4 French-speakers with us!  Hopefully they can help us improve our language skills! And with the extra sister, I am now in a trio companionship.  It'll be another new challenge to figure out the trio thing, but I'm really glad to have her.  She is very obedient and driven, and that's exactly what I want in a companion. 

Some weekly random thoughts:

- Yesterday they had pumpkin soup in the cafeteria.  I was completely delighted.  I was eating in a noisy cafeteria with flourescent lighting and too many boys sweating in their suits, and I still felt cozy, autumn-y.  I love pumpkin food.

- Every night I do something nice.  When the lights turn out, I look around me and think about how I can't see anything in the pitch black.  It's just total darkness.  Then I lay there on my top bunk and think about stuff for awhile.  I know missionaries are supposed to fall asleep instantly, but I'm not to that point yet.  So I sit there and think about whatever I want, and I love that part of the day.  But the best part is that after awhile with my eyes closed, I open them back up and look around.  And I. Can. See.  I remember learning about night-vision and how your eyes adapt to the dark in my psychophysics class, and suddenly the miracle of it has hit me.  I do this little ritual every night, and every night it amazes me that our eyes can actually adapt to the dark.

- We watch these videos sometimes that I want you all to look up.  You would all love them, and I think Dad especially would.  They're not from the church, they're on the New York Times website.  I don't even know how they access them or anything, but I've looked at the top banner when they load the videos, and it says "One in a Million" on the New York Times site.  They are these beautiful little five minute videos about peoples' lives.  Just a glimpse into their lives.  They are so well-done.  We watch them and then plan lessons accorrding to what we think the person in the video would need.  I love it.  So try looking it up, becuase you will probably love it, too.

- We begin Tahitian next week, I think.  Maybe the week after.  It's so insane.  It really is so funny.  Everyone pray for me.  I'm not actually scared becuase I know it will all work out.  But it is a little daunting to think that after all this work in French and though we still barely speak it, we are about to try and learn another entirely different language.  I'm excited for it. :)

I am very happy!  The more time I am here, the more I love it, and the more focus I gain in my purpose as a missionary.  I can't begin to explain the things I've already learned.  The biggest thing I'm learning about is the Atonement, which I can now only think of as the French word, "L'Expiation."  It's everything.  This past week I had a cool moment while I was reflecting on my day, and the scripture Phillipians 6:13 (I hope that's the right reference) came to my mind- "I can do all things through Him which strengtheneth me."  For me, that is a perfect description of the Atonement.  To access the Atonement and become better through it requires action- I can do all things.  You've got to get up and do it.  If something needs to be done, you don't pray that it will be done, you do it.  But the point is that you do it through Him.  And the more I come to know Christ, the more I understand that this is real.  That's not a nice idea.  Christ really lives, and our relationship, our at-one-ment with Him, is the power behind all the things we do. And we really can do all things.  

I love life.  I really love the gospel.  I am so happy to be here doing this earth thing with so much goodness around me.  I'm realizing that all things really do testify of Christ, and the joy we can have here is limitless.  Life is so good.

Much, much, much love, Soeur Mann

P.s. Happy birthday tomorrow, Berns!  I LOVE YOU!