Hi, guys! What's up? I love you.
Okay, guess what, folks? I am training again! I just got a brand spankin' new companion named Soeur Tetoe from Tahiti, and we are going to live three beautiful months together and see miracles happen. My bestie Soeur Dagnillo is still with us until next week when she will be literally shipped off to the the middle of nowhere on a tiny island called Maupiti, and where she will be the most fantastic missionary ever. I already miss her so bad. And she's sitting next to me. Thats how much I love her.
I will tell you the truth - this morning I woke up and rolled over and saw my new companion laying on her bed, and I had this very familiar feeling hit me. I big wave of anxiety. I started thinking about aaaaaall the stuff that I gotta teach this girl and blah blah, and I started to stress. But then I thought, "No. I will just talk to Heavenly Father about this. And its going to be okay." And it is going to be okay. It's going to be wonderful.
The Bishop in our Oremu ward in on fire! He is so motivated to do missionary work right now, and I LOVE it! We are working on a big plan that is going to rock Oremu. I am loving, loving the work right now.
The other day me and my companion were very brave. We had to talk to the dad of an ami (friend) who got baptized last week, who is definitely an adult and capable of making his own decisions, but who still wanted his parents to accept the baptism. Well they still aren't okay with it, but he did it anyway, just because he knows it's right. But the conversation we had with his dad was kinda scary. And also very cool. We really had to dig in and share testimony from our hearts, and we did it.
Something that I think you all should know about Tahiti is that the smells here are unbelievable. In both a good and bad sense. Like you have never smelled a flower as sweet or delicious as the Tiare Tahiti. It's heavenly. Nor have you ever smelled the power of rotting I-don't-know-what that eeks from the canals. It could knock your socks off. (Luckily I am always just wearing flip flops.) That is a detail about Tahiti you might all like to know.
Well, that's all the time there is. Just a little update. Dearest Courtney Elise - Happy Birthday! You were born! You made it to the earth! And I am SO glad you're here. I love you forever. Eat one of the mint brownies at lunch just cuz it's your day.
I love you all with all my heart!
Soeur Mann
Okay, guys, I just can't believe it! I cannot believe the miracle that just happened in my life! Oh my heck, I am so thrilled about this. This has nothing to do with missionary work. But this is amazing- Dad signed his letter this past week "Love, Jelly Man Kelly."
OKAY. This morning, while washing my cereal bowl in the sink, I sang that EXACT song. And I literally thought this exact thing- "I miss Jelly Man Kelly. When I write home, I am going to tell my family that I miss that song and somehow incorporate that in my letter." This is not a joke. And I haven't thought about that song in a year. K, there it is. Revelation is real. Dad, truly that was the coolest father-daughter brain-waves connecting across the ocean moment in the history of our lives. Thank you, you genius.
Now, for the rest of you - Hello! I love you! And I would like to say something:
I. LOVE. MY. MISSION.
I love this. With all my heart I love Tahiti, I love every single person that lives here, I love my companion, and I love that somehow I got lucky enough to have this chance. Sometimes I just think, I can't believe it. I can't believe I get to be a missionary here, that for some reason my life got to include this beautiful experience. I would like to make it known that I am infinitely grateful to Heavenly Father, Mom and Dad, and all the many people who helped me have this chance. Because this mission is actually the best thing that's ever happened to me. It is teaching me and molding me and I have truly felt this transformation happening in my heart. That doesn't mean I've become some saintly perfect person- dont any of you expect me to come home like that. I'm still ol' Micail, still a regular person that will drive you crazy sometimes. I don't know if the differences will be noticeable. But I know that in me, there really has been a change. I know some things like I didn't before. I love God and want to follow Him so much more. And I have found this true joy that I think can only come from doing something really, really hard for other people and relying on the Savior. A mission is certainly not the only way to discover that, but its such a wonderful way. I am truly happy. Thank you, thank you, all of you, for helping me.
I would also like to say that I did not always feel this way about my mission. This week marks the one year mark, my one-year-old missionary birthday! So of course I have been thinking about all the ups and downs and whatnot of the past year. I especially want Millzie and Courtney to know that the beginning was so extremely hard. Millzie, don't worry. It was exactly the same for me. In my head, I was always thinking, "Am I a bad person or something? Why is this so hard? How come I don't just love this? How come I seriously can't talk?" It seemed like everyone was a good missionary except for me, and I will tell you flat out that sometimes I hated it. So if in your head you are thinking, no it's just me who's struggling so bad - wrong-o. It is that hard for everyone. Everybody cries on their mission. Everybody struggles a ton. If other people tell you they didn't, well, at least you can know that I did.
But here is the news- It gets better. It will get so much better, like actually joyfully, wonderfully good. Yes, Millzie, you WILL speak Portuguese. At the beginning, I felt the same way. I would always like hover around any English-speaker missionaries I ever saw at conferences or stuff and just irritate them with these desperate questions like, "Do you actually understand whats going on? Like do you seriously understand when everybody talks?" And I really had this part of me that thought I would never reach it. But guess what? I seriously understand everything that's going on now! It's a miracle! And you will have this miracle. Do what you need to do - study your scriptures every day in Portuguese or Japanese and just keep going. Ask in your prayers every day that you can learn a little more and get a little better.
Mill, do you remember the song "Caves" by Jacks Mannequin that we love? I was thinking about it this week. In the song the guy is really scared and sad because he sees that all around him the walls are caving in. The music is kind of scary or something, and you feel like its a horrible thing that everything seems to be crashing. But the second half of the song, everything changes - the walls start crumbling and he realizes that, wow, there's stuff out there! He changes his tune and starts singing, "The walls are caving in!" with excitement because he realizes that he just got liberated and now he can see so much farther!
That's kind of how a mission is. You get ripped away from everything you know and understand and love, and you feel like its gonna be the end of you. For a while its just plain hard. But soon you will start to see that the difficulty, the very thing that you thought would end you, is exactly what you needed. When I look back at some of my worst moments - crying in the little kitchen of that hot, tiny box of a house in Papenoo, my heart is seriously so full of thanks. I am so glad it was hard. If it hadn't been so hard, it wouldn't be so good now. Just like the famous black pearls here - the little sand thing inside gets stuck and pressured and agitated, but in the end it makes something beautiful.
That was a lot of words to explain a really simple message, but I hope you believe it. I hope every missionary believes it, because it's true. It is going to be okay. Keep working, keep praying, keep trusting in our kind Heavenly Father and our Savior. It's worth it.
I know that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is truly guided by an inspired prophet, called by God Himself. The Book of Mormon is true - the doctrine and principles inside are true, and they have brought me so much happiness. Reading the Book of Mormon has brought me a solid assurance that Joseph Smith's story is real because I can't deny the Spirit that I feel when I read it. No matter what, it always, always comes back to prayer. God does hear us. I know it. I love Him.
I love you all so very much. Dad said in one of his letters lately that part of being a Christian is being of good cheer. This is true. And you know what? We are so lucky. I know so many people who would love to live in a beautiful, clean home, in a nice neighborhood, eat healthy, delicious food, and go do something even semi-interesting at work today. We are so incredibly lucky, and we have every reason to be happy. So let's all be happy and thankful. Life is beautiful.
All my love,
Soeur Mann
Hi, guys! Ua here vau ia outo! You can guess what that means.
Guys, I had such a fun day today! It's moving day! Not transfers - I'm still serving in the same area with the same comp, but we moved houses with the other four soeurs to a beautiful, large, spacious home in Tipaerui! It's one of the best houses Iv'e seen in this country so far! It felt so fun to have a moving day. I just wanted all the priesthood holders from the 1st Ward to show up and us all eat donuts, cuz thats what usually happens on moving days. But it was fun anyhoo. I was a little sad to leave my home of 5 and a half months in Pamatai. That place will always be a sacred place to me. That is where my heart changed so much and I learned some wonderful lessons. It is bittersweet, and that is a nice thing. And speaking of bittersweet, I actually tasted the world's best dark chocolate this week. The. Best. And I am buying some later today at the store. The nice grocery stores have enormous chocolate sections, due to the French influence here. They have pear chocolate and flower chocolate and salted caramel chocolate. The latter is the best one in the world.
Wonderful news! We have three baptisms happening this Saturday, two of which were set-up this week, and neither of them are either related to the other! We had two actual miracles happen. Our wonderful Simon and Thyron have decided to be baptised, and hallelujah for them! The one, Simon, is this hilarious, lanky, wise-crackin 15 year old that has been taking lessons for a very long time. He's wanted to be baptized for a very long time, too, but his parents never accept. Well he just got back from a month long vacation in Huahine, and we thought we'd just kinda see where he's at and what he's thinkin', and He says, "I'm ready. Is it possible to get baptized on Saturday?" Definitely.
I decided a good way to describe Tahiti. Think about a deep, pounding, but slow heartbeat. That's what it feels like here. It's so alive. Everything is just... alive. But it doesn't move fast or get excited. Its just a low, constant pounding. I realized that I have never seen a Tahitian get stressed. Not that I can remember. Angry, annoyed, yes. But the concept of "stress" just really doesn't exist here. It's done this heart some good.
I've been working lately on really doing my job. My job is to bring some great news to everybody that the full gospel of Jesus Christ is restored. I'm working on talking about the Restoration every time I teach, and it's doing wonders. Truly, Joseph Smith is a prophet. And we have a prophet on the earth. We truly do! How amazing!
I want to just say that I know the Priesthood is real. The other day I listened to two elders give a blessing to someone who needed it. I was astounded to hear them say things and give much needed comfort, counsel, and blessing that they weren't even aware of. I mean it, these two missionaries received revelation. It was undeniable and beautiful. They knew things and spoke things by the Spirit, and my testimony of the reality of this power was really fortified. Two young guys from Utah can act in the name of Christ. It's real.
Berns, I believe you are starting high school soon- woohooo! You drive that mini van with pride, my boy! Don't you ever be disgraced to drive her! And here is one thing I would like to tell you, my one bit of counsel for high school: Be kind. Just be kind to everyone, no exceptions. That's what matters, and thats' what will make high school fun. I love you, Bernie Mac.
Life is beautiful!
All my love,
Soeur Mann
Hello, everyone! Courtney wrote me something in her last email - she said, "Now I can understand why you always always say how much you love your family in your emails. Its like, go on a mission = YOU LOVE YOUR FAMILY 74,747,474,747 THOUSAND TIMES MORE THAN YOU DID BEFORE!" Ha ha! Yes! That is exactly why I just ramble on forever every single week about love you, love you, love you, stuff. Bingo, Courtles.
Okay, Amelia is going to Brazil. Oh, Nelly. Millzie, that's so amazing! You must feel so weird. If I was there next to you, I would sing you a song in a warbley old hobbit voice that goes like this: "The greeeeatest adventuuuuure is the one that lies ahead..." Mill, you just remember to pray. You are going to experience the most beautiful, toughest, rewarding, draining, important experiences of your life. You're gonna have a little culture shock for awhile, but these people will become your dear friends. Remember that language is just words, but they really are your brothers and sisters. Hurrah! Millzie, I'm SO excited for you! I love you with all my heart, Mill. You can do anything. And you can eat anything. Just chew and swallow. Don't think about it. And if you do a good job, when you get home I will make you one of those chocolate gold medals from the picture book.
Here's a little mission lesson I've learned. I will teach this lesson by sharing a little story that happened this morning. Scene: Soeur Mann sitting on her bed. Soeur Dagnillo sitting on her bed across from Soeur Mann. The room is full of tension so tangible you can almost taste it in the air. The two missionaries have just attempted to "evaluate some areas that need improvement" in their companionship. Neither one of them is feeling very cheery. Plus it's raining outside. Finally Soeur Dagnillo blurts out, "Soeur, I love you so much, but I just don't want to be with you twenty-four-seven!"
Ha ha! It was like a huge rock was lifted off my chest, and I just said, "I know! I don't want to be with you either!" And then we laughed and laughed, and we are still happy companions. Ya know what? We're all just people! And no matter how good of a missionary you are, or how strong your testimony is, or how well you and your companion get along, we are all just people, and we all have moments of weakness. It's okay. It's okay if the people around you aren't perfect. Its often best to laugh it off and move on. And forgiveness is essential. Its the only way any us are ever going to make it to heaven, and it really is the only thing that allows us to progress. I'm learning more and more that there are very few things worth arguing over, but there is always, always reason to forgive. Sometimes people irritate us, let us down, sometimes they straight up do the wrong thing, but we are all just people.
Alright, the FHE we had last week with President Hinckley's daugher was not only lovely, but truly unforgettable. Guess who else came with her? Hilary Weeks and her husband! It was so, so odd. Sometimes life is so bizarre. Like you are just sitting there in a living room listening to Hilary Weeks sing while your Tahitian investigators are sitting next to you... the world is so small. Apparently they were in Australia for a Time Out for Women conference, and they made a pit stop in Tahiti for a week. Hilary sang a song that touched my heart, that I will love for ever and ever. It must be called something like, "He Loves Us Still," and she said it will be on iTunes in September. The message of the song is that Christ loves us still, no matter what we do. My family, I love the Savior. Thank heavens we have a Savior, Someone who is constant. He does love us still, no matter what. I have felt it, and I know we can always approach Him, no matter where we stand. I was also delighted to see how perfectly normal the prophet's daughter is. She's just like her parents-so funny and down to earth. You can just eat some Doritos and banana bread and talk to her about whatever you want. Cuz that's what I did.
Yesterday in Sacrament Meeting, Michel got up and bore his testimony. There's really no way to describe how good it feels to be a missionary and hear a newly converted member get up and share his testimony. It feels like you actually did something, like there is actually a point to you being here. While I was sitting there, I thought, seriously, if he just stays faithful and happy til the end of his life, this will all be worth it. And then I had this horrible thought- what if he didn't? I started thinking about these people that I love, that I really have worked for and sacrificed for and cried over, all so they can just be happy. I realized that if I ever heard that one of these people lost their faith or started being disobedient and fell into old habits that bring them down, I would be heartbroken. It would feel like all this work was for nothing. And that brought me some really insightful thoughts about the Savior. The sacrifices of a missionary are absolutely nothing in comparison to His. But it gives you a tiny taste of what the Atonement means. I thought about how Christ must about us, Him being the One who created this earth and then descended below all things. And He did it because of one reason- He loves us and He wants us to be happy. And I thought how horrible He must feel when He sees someone He loves infinitely, for whom He suffered the worst kind of pain, just stuck, not reaching the joy and peace He wants for them. It must feel like it was for nothing. But then I had an even more important thought- How must He feel when someone repents? It was like a light went on in my spirit. What relief and joy He must feel! Of course he asks us to repent! Of course, of course! That is all He wants. Because repentance is the free, endless, perfect way for everyone to get back on track. He's not standing there angry at us, holding our sins over our heads. He suffered for these sins. He paid for them, and it was terrible, but He did it so we don't have to. So all he really wants is for us to just repent and come back, and of course he's going to accept us and welcome us and let us be happy again. That's the point. That is why He came and did what He did.
I love you all with all my heart,
Soeur Mann
