#9 - The Fish and The Chickens

Bonjour!  

This was a crazy p-day!  I was trying to get myself organized for Tahiti, and in the end it just looks like a wild hog got loose in my room.  And the point is that I didn't write a big letter for a weekly update.  I'm sorry, fam!  I can guarantee that next week will be a nice, juicy letter, though, because I asked my branch pres if I could just keep a list of things I want to say throughout the week and then send it off.  He said that would be fine.  So I'm going to try and just jot down thoughts and things throughout the week. 

But here are some things I can say this week:

- I am leaving for Tahiti in 10 days.  It feels so surreal.  I am so excited.  I am so nervous!  It's so weird because I still feel like I have no concept of where I'm headed.  I can't even imagine what it's going to look like or feel like, or anything!  But I am much more excited than nervous!  I wonder what the first meal I eat there will be.  Probably fish.  Oh!  And guess what?  This is the scariest thing ever!  You know how I HATE chickens?!  Like haaaaate chickens?  Well apparently there are chickens everywhere! Just roaming around pecking feet!  (Actually, I made up the pecking feet thing.  But I really am worried about that.)  Those are the things I'm worried about.  The fish and the chickens.  And the fact that I'm not even close to speaking Tahitian.  But those are just little things.  So it's alright.

- Speaking of Tahitian- it is so hard.  If you want to do a fun activity and learn more about speaking Tahitian, try this:  Spend 5 minutes trying to teach about the Plan of Salvation without using the words am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been, has, have, should, will, or could.  Because those words don't exist in Tahitian.  Ha ha!  It's so crazy!  Ít's so cool, though!  It's such a sincere language.  Nothing fluffy.  My favorite Tahitian word is "faahanahanahia." It means "glorified." Doesn't that word just seem glorified?

- So, I love the mission so far.  It has been wonderful and fun, and I have learned a lot.  I should let you know, though, that it's not always a piece of cake.  Everyone says that when they get home, and it's true.  The MTC is wonderful most of the time, and a little bit of the time it is so utterly, 100% hard. One day this week I was plain old annoyed.  It really was a rough day.  Soeur Barker was sick so me and Soeur Green were doing gym in teh hallway of our residence.  It was miserable.  But then guess what?  The other two soeurs came along and started working out with us, and pretty soon we were rolling on the floor, laughing so hard!  And I thought, "Friends are the best thing in the world." In the end, friends are all that matter.  If you are reading this, it means you're my friend.  And I want you to know that I truly, truly love you.  I''m so thankful Heavenly Father gave us friends.

Much love! -Soeur Mann

#8 - Mistakes Are The Plan

October 16, 2012

Hello, everyone!  Here I am.  Less than three weeks until I am actually living in Tahiti.  On a mission. Hooray! I hope everyone is happy and safe and having a nice, cozy mid-October week!

Here are some things I want to say:

I still love the MTC.  Have I ever mentioned "The Nook"?  The nook is a little area outside our classroom with a big huge window facing the mountains.  When I look back on my MTC mission, I think there are two things I will first remember.  1. The lemon poppyseed muffins in the cafeteria with sugary stuff on top.  (Only half kidding.  They've been a big part of this.)  2.  The Nook.  Actually, there are definitely other things that I will remember before that, but The Nook will truly be a good memory forever.  I have learned a lot just by sitting next to that window, looking out at the mountains, and thinking.  Right now the view is gorgeous with all the fall colors. We spend so much time studying by that window that many days I watch the sun just waking up over the mountains and set on the other end of the valley at night, broken up by class time and meals and things.  I've really learned the importance of pondering.  Some of the best moments of clarity and understanding I've had here have been sparked by five minutes of reading and then lots of minutes just looking out the window. There are a lot of restrictions here- no music, no internet, no newspaper, all that, and it is hard sometimes, but it gives you a lot of space to think.  

I would just like to share this funny moment that happened last night. Every day, Elder Gervasi grabs a bag of chips and keeps it under his desk to eat at night when he gets back to his room. Last night he stood up to say the prayer, and somehow Elder Calves snuck the bag of chips onto Elder Gervasi's seat.  Elder Gervasi finished the prayer, sat down, and actually sat on his very own big of chips.  I'm sorry, I know that's not reverent to do during a prayer, but that was just too funny.  I couldn't stop laughing for a good five minutes. 

I've been thinking a lot this week about mistakes.  Here's what I've learned.  There is a goal to this life, and it is to become something.  We're supposed to learn and discover and gain wisdom, and then we're supposed to use that wisdom to become something great.  One of the ways we learn best is by making mistakes.  I've read 2 Nephi 2 over and over and over this week thinking about this idea.  The chapter says that all things exist by contrast- without sadness, there is no happiness; without dark there is not light, and all these opposites.  Without contrast, nothing exists.  So basically, you've got to know some bad to know some good.  I've been thinking about the fall of Adam and how we all treat it kind of like it's this really sad thing, like, "Dang.  I can't believe Eve messed up and ate the fruit, and they had to get cast out of that pretty garden and start working." But the scriptures say that this was all part of the plan.  Isn't that interesting?  How could the fall be part of the plan? I think I'm beginning to understand that mistakes are always a part of the plan because mistakes are the plan.  You learn by experience, you learn by contrast.  This is not the same thing as purposefully making bad choices.  It's not right to live lawlessly and thoughtlessly and hope that you learn something.  The point is to honestly try your best, and when you learn something, you live it.  But the truth is that you're going to make mistakes, even if you're trying.  And that's why the Savior atoned for us.  I really have a testimony of God's perfect love, and I really believe that Christ can allow us to overcome mistakes.  So my point is this- life is supposed to be lived with faith, not fear.  It's okay to really try your very best, and if you make mistakes, it's okay.  God knew you would, and He will help you learn from them if you let Him. 

I love you all with all my heart!  Have a happy week!  Much love, 

Soeur Mann

#7 - Two Sister Manns

October 9, 2012

First of all, conference was amazing!  I wish everyone could watch conference from the MTC- it was so cool!  And of course, the very best part: Sisters can leave at 19!!!  What do you think 2000 missionaries did when the prophet announced this?  I will tell you.  We honestly and truly cheered!  Ha ha! :)  And then I cried and cried.  Soeur Green cried too, and she turned to me and said, "Why are we crying?" I know a lot of people were touched because they know that this new announcement will change missionary work- hopefully we will get so many sister missionaries in the field!  But when she asked me, all I could say was, "My sister!" I just knew how she was feeling right at that moment, and I was so happy! Hallelujah!  Two Sister Manns in the field!!!  :)

Tahitian is crazy.  The other night we were all prepped to teach our "investigator" in French, had a good little outline, and then we look in the peephole of the room we're supposed to teach in, and our teacher is not our teacher!  He is wearing flip flops, board shorts, and a black, curly wig!  And we knew exactly what that meant.  Dear ol' Frere Coulson decided to play a little trick on us, and we knew that the second he opened the door, he wasn't going to speak French.  Just imagine our panic. We tried to remember every possible thing we know in Tahitian, said a prayer, and then knocked on the door!  And indeed, he answered with, ""Ia ora na!" So we just went from there.  It was absolutely ridiculous.  A lot of pointing.  A lot of blank looks.  And afterword, a lot of laughter.  Woohoo!  Tahitian!

Here's a little thought I had this week.  Everything in the whole world is weird.  If you think real hard about anything, it seems bizarre.  Think about eating food. We put stuff that grows out of the ground in our mouths, chomp it up, and eat it. And it keeps us alive.  How weird is that?  The reason I'm saying that is because when it comes to the gospel, sometimes stuff seems weird or too good to be true.  But I think the first question you can ask is, "Why not?" Because there's really no reason.  And if you start there and then start praying and studying and living it, you'll get the answer: "Of course."  The gospel is real life.  It really is this good.  

Much love to all of you!

Soeur Mann

#6 - Crazy, Beautiful, Fascinating

October 2, 2012

Alright, folks.  

Let’s talk about Tahitian.  I don’t even know where to start with this.  Okay, one thing:  The word for “day” and “sun” is the same.  And “months” and “moons.”  Do you understand what that means?  It means I am learning a language where they actually say, “It has been many moons since I've seen you.”  This language is the real deal! (By the way, I think that phrase will be very natural to me, thanks to my Native American heritage.)  It is such a crazy, beautiful, fascinating language.  Tahitian is all about circumlocution, which is where you say a word by describing it.  For example, there’s no word for “waterfall.”  You just say something like, “The place where the water falls from a high place.”  It takes a long time to say things.  It’s funny because I feel like French and Tahitian are total opposites.  French is all about exactness.  You have very, very specific grammar rules, and you always know the number, gender, and specific tense of everything.  Tahitian is the open, get-the-feel-of-it language.  And both are so beautiful. 

On Wednesday, I was feeling a little (a lot) overwhelmed because two languages just seemed insane.  But while I was running during gym, I had this very clear thought come to me and remind me that this mission call is such a cool blessing from a sweet Heavenly Father.  He’s given me the chance to learn two beautiful languages.  I asked my teacher a few nights ago, “Will I use a lot of Tahitian?  Am I really going to use this?”  He assured me that I would, that lots of people speak Tahitian.  But last night he came back and said, “I want to change my answer to your question.  You’ll probably use Tahitian a lot.  But even if you don’t, even if you only teach one other person in Tahitian, would it be worth this effort to bring them the gospel?”  And it absolutely would be.  It’s so cool to be doing something that really, really matters.  And you know what?  The language is going to work out just fine!  This week our district made a goal to only speak French.  We can speak English during gym or if it is necessary to explain something about Tahitian (We really do learn Tahitian through French!). And yesterday was a long day of French-speaking.  You know how babies can create their own baby-friend languages?  Sometimes when our district speaks French, it feels like that.  Like we’re just babbling along and barely understanding each other.  J  But last night I experienced two little miracles: 1. One of the French elders taught me a lesson, and 2. I had a conversation with Sister Pea, a new sister here from Tahiti!  And you know what?  It worked!  I understood them, even with their accents.  I've got a loooong way to go with both languages, but it’s going to work out!

Two songs that everyone should listen to again: “The Prayer” by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman, and “Savior, Redeemer of My Soul,” from the movie 17 Miracles.  I’m always singing these songs in my head because we've heard them here.  They are so beautiful.

I think when I get home, if I can, I’ll get licensed to teach French along with English and Psychology!  I wonder how hard it would be.  Wouldn't that be cool though?

I’d like to say something.  The MTC is definitely not a prison.  It does have a lot of rules, but it’s fun.  The teachers are funny, the employees are funny, and the presidency is funny!  They’re all just normal people.  It a different life, but it’s still fun.  I’m glad I’m a missionary during the PMG stage of missionary work.  I've heard lot of people say, “Missionaries are robots.  The MTC turns people into robots.”  That is so far from the truth!  They tell us constantly, “Teach from your heart! Teach what you really know!  Share your sincere, personal testimony!”  Missionary work is just real people helping real people.  Elder Holland said in a talk that, “ Missionary work is not separated from real life.  This is the closest to real life you’re ever going to get.”  All day, every day is about service and love and the things that matter most.  It’s awesome.

I LOVE the Book of Mormon.  I to talk to Levi Williams here (wonderful!) and he changed my life.  He said that I should never read the Book of Mormon without a purpose.  And it really has changed the way I study.  I am gaining a deeper and deeper testimony of the Book of Mormon every day.

This week I remembered one of my favorite quotes.  It’s from  C.S. Lewis, and it’s longer than this, but one part says, “Your neighbor is the holiest object presented to your senses.”  There are so many beautiful things in the world – landscapes, art, literature, music, and they are all fascinating and important.  But people are the only thing that really matter

I love you, I truly, truly love you!

Seour Mann

#5 - Learning Tahitian

Family!

Yesterday was day one of Tahitian!  I am so excited to learn it and also quite overwhelmed.  When our teacher walked in and started speaking Tahitian yesterday, my heart started beating a little fast.  Day One.  Again.  And for a few hours I felt a bit stressed, but here’s the good news: A) It is SO beautiful.  It is unlike any language you’ve heard of.  Tahitian describes things in a totally different way.  We learned how to pray yesterday, and a prayer in Tahitian is the way a prayer should sound.  I’m so excited to learn this beautiful language.  B) I’ve been praying for some faith with this whole two-language thing, and this is what I’ve learned, “The Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save He shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which He hath commanded them.”  And I’ve been asked to learn two languages.  So I’ll just do it.  And it’ll work out fine.  I would like to give you all your Tahitian names!  I’ll write out your names how a Tahitian would say them if she just read them out loud: Luke = Rootay, Amelia = Ahmayreeah, Jill = Reer (hmm, that one doesn’t translate too great), and Roger = Rotayr, maybe just Rotay.  L’s = rs, B = p, and whole bunch of stuff turns into t’s . . . it is crazy!  And wonderful. Keep praying for me.

 

I love my companions to death.  We have truly become good friends, and I am so thankful I got both of them.  I had a funny moment with Soeur Green the other day – she was humming a Faith Hill song, so I chimed in singing.  Turns out I’ve been singing that song wrong my whole life.  Cuz I was definitely not even close to the right words.  When I realized how dumb I looked, I felt so embarrassed, and I grabbed her in a hug and buried my face in shame, then we realized how funny the whole situation was, and we just stood in the hall and laughed and laughed.  Did I tell you that Soeur Green is six feet tall?  Some people call her Sister Barbie.  She is beautiful, and tall, and thin, but one of those cool people who’s beautiful and extremely smart and kind, too.  And I love Soeur Barker so much.  One night this week I said something snappy to her, and when I got in bed, I just couldn’t sleep.  So I croaked out, “Soeur?  I’m sorry I was mean.”  And we all laughed, but truly it felt good to say sorry, and I’m so lucky to have a companionship where we learn together and forgive each other when we mess up.

 

The French elders (“The Frenchies”) are a hoot.  It’s been fun having real-deal French-speakers with us.  Can you imagine what our little classroom sounds like?  Some people learning French, some learning English, all learning Tahitian – it’s insane in an inspiring kind of way.  They are nice boys, and quite funny.  Today I got to endure twenty minutes of teasing in French because my breakfast concoction of cottage cheese, yogurt, and pineapple apparently “looked like baby throw-up.”  But ya know what?  That stuff’s good for ya.  And I like it.

 

I love being called, “Soeur.”  We don’t even pronounce it right, we just say, “Sir.”  And it’s become quite endearing.  “Excuse me, sir!”  Ha ha!  I like being Soeur Mann.

 

We did get to watch the Brigham City Temple dedication, the third session.  I loved hearing from Pres. Packer.  What a genuinely good, sweet man.

 

We counted the steps up to our classroom: 96.  Three words: Calves. Of. Steel.

 

Here is the main thing I want to tell you, and I am not even sure how to say it.  I want you to know that I am so happy.  The more I study the gospel, the more I realize that truly, men are that they might have joy.  I’ve had many beautiful moments where things about the gospel have clicked for me, and it is like a light goes on.  Here’s what I’ve been thinking about:  All you really are is a chooser.  The only thing that makes you real and gives meaning to you is your ability to choose.  And the only reason we’re here is so we can become.  We’re supposed to become something great.  Here we are on this earth, by our own choice, and we get to make something great of ourselves if we choose to.  The thing that’s really beautiful is that you get to do this with Jesus Christ, the Creator of this world. God’s sole purpose is “to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man”.  Think about that.  Here we are with this big task in front of us, but we have God, the Ruler of the earth, on our side and His only interest is our success.  If you come to Christ, you honestly can become the person you want to become.  He will clean you from your flaws, He will heal you from your sorrows, He will inspire you, encourage you, and control the elements around you in a way that will best develop you.  I’ve been thinking so much about the phrase, “All things testify of Christ”, and I really believe it.  The autumn weather is one example – it is getting cold, and we know that everything is going to die.  But we know that in the spring, all the dead things will miraculously come to life and live again, just like the Savior.  The more you look around, the more you see Him, and my testimony is that a testimony of Christ is a testimony of “you can do it”!  We have a  Savior!   He really did conquer sin, He really does live.  And if you start aligning your path with His, He will do every possible thing to help you.  The only thing you need to do is choose.

 

I love this gospel with all my heart.  I’m so grateful to know what I know.  I’m thankful for the chance to express my gratitude to Heavenly Father by sharing it with the people in Tahiti.  Life is so good.  All my love, Soeur Mann

 

P.S.  Thank you, thank you for writing me!  It might take me awhile to respond because my time is limited, but to anyone who has written me – thank you.  I love you!

#4 - Strawberries in the Salads

My family!  My family, I love you!

How is everybody? I am sending you lots of hugs, too!  I love that Berns is a true band man!  Tell him that I love him so much!  Today has been really great- running outside under the stars at 6:00 AM because we don’t have gym on P-days, so we went as a companionship- I loved it!  I am having no problem waking up on time, which is a miracle!  Then we went to the Temple, and that gets more interesting and meaningful every time.  And then we sat outside and wrote letters.  I wrote you one!  Tonight is a devotional we have a general authority every week.  Every week people think it's going to be Pres. Monson.  :) Tahitian will start next week, and we will have the same teachers.  It really is SO crazy!  I don't feel stressed, because I know it will work out, but it is a tiny bit overwhelming.  I still love the French, though!  And having my new companion has been a huge blessing!  It was so hard before, because we had hours a day to study French, and we haven't gotten our French grammar books yet.  So it was the blind leading the blind.  But now we have Seour Green, and I love her! We are getting along great! 

Yes, my teachers served in Tahiti!  It's very nice, because they can tell us about the actual place.  And I love that I constantly have a goal.  I really have strengthened my relationship with Heavenly Father because I depend on Him a lot, and I have a goal that matters to Him.  It has been wonderful.  And I love when they put strawberries in the salads.  I love you all SO much!

Love,

Seour Mann

#3 - Goodness Around Me

Bonjour!!

Thank you all for your letters! I was so happy to hear about the Tony Grove hike.  Never think that you shouldn't tell me stuff like that because it might make me homesick or something.  I am doing the exact thing I want to do, and I am so happy, and I just love hearing what you are all doing.  I know I'll do the hike again in 2 summers, so it's fine.  I love hearing all the details.

I realized I haven't really explained what I'm doing over here, like what the schedule is.  Here's my schedule: Study, eat, study, eat, study, eat, study, sleep.  Repeat for 3 months.  Ha ha :)  Uh, but really. I was so surprised when I got here to find out that there is SO much study time without a teacher.  It's kind of a weird feeling here, cuz it's kind of like you're super-over-supervised, and yet you have no supervision.  Like there are many hours in the day where you are just responsible for studying with your companion, both gospel and language, and no one helps you.  I imagined we'd have more teachers, but it's good.  It's helping me learn many things.  So many things that I don't even have time to explain them.  But sometimes we do have teachers, and I love that part because it's very effective and we learn quicker.  I have two teachers- Frere Lindsey, and a sort-of new one, Frere Coulson.  The big joke at this place is this: Your third day here, they have you start teaching an "investigator" in your mission language.  Then a week and a half later, you find out that your investigator is actually your second teacher.  Anyhoo, these days both teachers spend time teaching us throughout the day.  And now both are playing the role of investigator, so Soeur Barker and I have two "investigators"- "Tom" and "Jake."  At first I thought this was very cheesy and weird.  But now I can see that it's a brilliant idea.  The main goal of missions is to teach lessons and bring investigators to Christ, and we have to practice that.  It's not like there are actually a ton of French speakers wandering around wanting to take lessons from people who speak at a kidnergarten level, so we have to role-play.  So yes, that is what I do.  I teach my two investigators and study.  And I like it!

We had a crazy change today!  We gained 4 members in our district- 3 French elders, and Soeur Green, whom I met on the San Fran trip!  All four of them speak French (including Soeur Green, who is from Utah, but is studying French in college), so they have been working with the international missionaries, learning English.  Soeur Green was helping them.  It's so great to have 4 French-speakers with us!  Hopefully they can help us improve our language skills! And with the extra sister, I am now in a trio companionship.  It'll be another new challenge to figure out the trio thing, but I'm really glad to have her.  She is very obedient and driven, and that's exactly what I want in a companion. 

Some weekly random thoughts:

- Yesterday they had pumpkin soup in the cafeteria.  I was completely delighted.  I was eating in a noisy cafeteria with flourescent lighting and too many boys sweating in their suits, and I still felt cozy, autumn-y.  I love pumpkin food.

- Every night I do something nice.  When the lights turn out, I look around me and think about how I can't see anything in the pitch black.  It's just total darkness.  Then I lay there on my top bunk and think about stuff for awhile.  I know missionaries are supposed to fall asleep instantly, but I'm not to that point yet.  So I sit there and think about whatever I want, and I love that part of the day.  But the best part is that after awhile with my eyes closed, I open them back up and look around.  And I. Can. See.  I remember learning about night-vision and how your eyes adapt to the dark in my psychophysics class, and suddenly the miracle of it has hit me.  I do this little ritual every night, and every night it amazes me that our eyes can actually adapt to the dark.

- We watch these videos sometimes that I want you all to look up.  You would all love them, and I think Dad especially would.  They're not from the church, they're on the New York Times website.  I don't even know how they access them or anything, but I've looked at the top banner when they load the videos, and it says "One in a Million" on the New York Times site.  They are these beautiful little five minute videos about peoples' lives.  Just a glimpse into their lives.  They are so well-done.  We watch them and then plan lessons accorrding to what we think the person in the video would need.  I love it.  So try looking it up, becuase you will probably love it, too.

- We begin Tahitian next week, I think.  Maybe the week after.  It's so insane.  It really is so funny.  Everyone pray for me.  I'm not actually scared becuase I know it will all work out.  But it is a little daunting to think that after all this work in French and though we still barely speak it, we are about to try and learn another entirely different language.  I'm excited for it. :)

I am very happy!  The more time I am here, the more I love it, and the more focus I gain in my purpose as a missionary.  I can't begin to explain the things I've already learned.  The biggest thing I'm learning about is the Atonement, which I can now only think of as the French word, "L'Expiation."  It's everything.  This past week I had a cool moment while I was reflecting on my day, and the scripture Phillipians 6:13 (I hope that's the right reference) came to my mind- "I can do all things through Him which strengtheneth me."  For me, that is a perfect description of the Atonement.  To access the Atonement and become better through it requires action- I can do all things.  You've got to get up and do it.  If something needs to be done, you don't pray that it will be done, you do it.  But the point is that you do it through Him.  And the more I come to know Christ, the more I understand that this is real.  That's not a nice idea.  Christ really lives, and our relationship, our at-one-ment with Him, is the power behind all the things we do. And we really can do all things.  

I love life.  I really love the gospel.  I am so happy to be here doing this earth thing with so much goodness around me.  I'm realizing that all things really do testify of Christ, and the joy we can have here is limitless.  Life is so good.

Much, much, much love, Soeur Mann

P.s. Happy birthday tomorrow, Berns!  I LOVE YOU!