#20 - Keys to Heaven

Bonjour et bonne annee!

I love you, love you, love you!

I have some thank you's to say this week!

First of all, Mamma, I forgot to tell you that I 100% love the necklace you gave me for Christmas.  I wear it every single day, and when I feel a little blue, I hold on to the three little keys and think about you and it makes me feel better.  Plus, there is a little seven year old sweetie here named Mimi who absolutely loves the fact that I have the three "keys to heaven" with me all the time, because I explained to her that the three charms, faith, hope, and charity, are the keys to heaven.  So every time she sees me, we pretend to open the door to heaven with our tiny keys.

And Grandma Mann, I got your package today!  Oh, Grandma!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!  It was so wonderful to see a package with "Harold Mann" written on the return address!  I shared the cowtails with my companion and a lady in our ward, and they loved the American candy.  Thank you for the card and everything!

That last picture with all the kids is of New Year's Eve, which we spent with the Bishop.  ( Don't worry, we went to bed on time!)  Okay, Christmas here is not the hugest deal like it is for us, but New Year's Eve?  It is actually New Year's Week.  It is a huge, huge deal, and everyone is just barbequeing and playin their ukuleles, and drinkin' a whole lot of alcohol   But we passed a fun evening with our Bishop's family, and the thing in my hand is a coconut, and yes, I am drinking coconut milk right out of it!  Amazing, huh?  And the kids danced their little hearts out.  

So, something I really, really need to tell you is that we've had three baptisms.  Ha ha!  I have been meaning to write about it, but the thing is that these baptisms deserve a big long letter, because each one has been miraculous, truly miraculous.  This picture is of Kahaia, who is a beautiful, joyful 19 year old convert of one week, and who has already asked the bishop if she can start her mission papers.  She came teaching with us the other night, and its so cool to have a brand new convert share their testimony, because she really, really knows what its like to receive that change in her life.  I  am constantly amazed by the tiny and seemingly infinite amount of miracles that God performs for us every day.  Sometimes I feel like 'I'm on the Truman show, like everything is perfectly scripted to work out just how it ought to.  'Cuz that's actually what's happening.  And that is thanks to our Savior, Jesus Christ, whose hand is in all things and through all things.  It is truly astounding.

There is a big huge tree across the street from us, right in front of the ocean.  We call it our Tree of Faith, and it represents our faith just growing and growing up to the sky.  This week is has rained and rained and rained, and that tree is sittin' there, soaking it all in.  I had a thought this week- that tree requires both sunshine and rain in order to grow.  Without one or the other, it dies.  Just like in second Nephi 2, everything requires opposition.  Ya gotta take some rain with some sunshine if you want the tree to grow.

Loved ones, Jesus Christ is really our Savior.  I love Him.  Despite my weakness and sometimes pathetic bouts of idiocy, He really is there.  God is answering my prayers, and He listens to all of us.  Hallelujah!  God listens to us!

I love you with all my heart, 
Soeur Mann

#19 - Raw Fish, Clams, and Escargot

Hello, Dear Loved Ones!  I love you so very, very, very much!

Fam, I finally got the card you sent me in October!  Ha ha!  It did me so much good.  Seeing everyone's handwriting seriously made my day.  Thank you, thank you!

Okay, once again, I don't have much time.  I guess I better just get used to that and we will all just deal with the fact that my letters will never be quite long enough.  As far as little Tahitian things go, here is the news- guess what I ate for Christmas Eve?  Raw fish, clams, and escargot!  That's right, folks!  I'm an islander!

Heres what I really want to say to you.  These are the real, true thoughts of Sister Micail Mann.

The past two months I have been through a true refiner's fire.  There is something about being in the middle of the ocean without your family or ward or language that makes you really, really think.  (complete under exaggeration)

I am going to tell you completely and truly that I have had some really bad moments out here where I started looking, as the scriptures say, "beyond the mark."  Being out here has stripped everything I know down to the very barest bones, and I have had some moments where I've had to look long and hard at my testimony.  There is no Cami King to set an example, no institute, no FHE with the singles ward.  There is the Book of Mormon, and there is prayer, and there is my faith.  That is not to say that all my beautiful experiences growing up and strengthening my testimony disappeared, but I have had to truly think about what's inside my heart, and where my faith is.

The most important experiences I've had here are some long, long prayers inside the kitchen at night, listening to the waves and putting every ounce of energy into talking to Heavenly Father.

I just want you all to know that I know that Heavenly Father is real.  I know that the Book of Mormon is true.  Jesus Christ is our Savior.

When I say I know it's true, I'm actually saying that.  I'm actually saying that we are children of Heavenly Father, who actually lives and listen to our prayers.  These days when I pray, I take five minutes beforehand to think about that, just think about the fact that Someone is really going to listen to the words I say.  I'm not talking to the air.  

Prayer is talking with Heavenly Father.

That's what I truly want to say.  Think and think and think about that.

Life is beautiful!  It's amazing to think that this time last year, I was banging pots and pans at Court's house, shouting Happy New Year to Hyde Park.  This year I am living in Tahiti, teaching the gospel in French.  Life is beautiful!

Happy New Year!  I love you!

#18 - A Christmas Miracle: Skype

This is a little clip of our skype session with Sister Mann! We love her so. :)

#17 - And Lived Again

Dearest family,

I do not have the time to write you very much today, which is extremely sad.  But as always, your letters have really lifted me up, and its okay because I am going to TALK TO YOU next week! 

Holy cow, I love you guys.  This week has been, in the words of Ned from Groundhogs Day, "a doozy."  But here is my tiny, little message:  Jesus Christ loves us, and God responds to our prayers.  Even when things aren't pretty in our lives, we can be grateful if we trust in Christ.  Because with Christ, everything works out in the end.  I trust in Him.  I believe in Him.  I love our Savior.  I am realizing this Christmas what we are celebrating.  It has nothing to do with presents and trees.   It is the fact that Jesus Christ lived, died, and lived again.  And He loves us.

So sorry this is too short, but next week we will talk.  And to all my family, and especially to the grandparents: I love you.  I love you.  Merry Christmas!   

I love you!  Next week!

#16 - Burnt Orange Curtains

Dear Diary,

It has been raining for a week straight.  I don't know if these storms will ever stop.  I fear I may never be dry again.

Uh, but really.  It has not stopped raining for a week straight!  And nothing EVER dries.  Everything is starting to smell...  

Anyway, thats enough talking about the weather. Hello, my dear loved ones. 

A few little Tahiti things:
I don't know how to describe this certain aspect of the Tahitian culture.  Its like no one is ever surprised.  Little things that would just send us into an uproar make absolutely no difference.  For instance, the other morning the relief society held a big breakfast for all the sisters, and they put a ton of work into it.  Were all sitting around eating our pineapple and whatnot, and this disgusting dog comes slinking around the tables, bugging everyone.  No one says a word.  Now if we were eating breakfast as the Hyde Park first ward and a possibly rabid dog started slinking around us, what would we do?  Surely a Priesthood holder would shoo him away or something!  But no one ever talks about all the weird little things that happen.  I am constantly surprised and everyone else is never surprised.  I guess that's called culture shock.

The picture is of my very first English class!  Yes, folks, Ms. Mann the English professor is alive and well in Tahiti!  The idea is to get this going and have people invite investigators.  I feel quite lost most of the time here, but I will tell you something- my hour and a half next to a chalkboard was one of the highlights of my week.  I felt like me for a minute!  I even wore a cardigan just to feel teacher-y.  And I put a jar of flowers on the table.  I love teaching!  I hope this leads us to some investigators!

This picture is of my bedroom and my companion who walked in unexpectedly   I will never forget these huge burnt orange curtains and the smell of detergent, mold, sweat, and perfume that permeates this room.  Lots and lots of heartfelt prayers have been offered every morning and night next to the bed on the far left.  This tiny little room in Tahiti is a place where I am learning to love and trust my Heavenly Father with all my heart.

This week I had an experience with an inactive member that made my whole week worth it.  We are helping her come back to the gospel and regroup her family, and she its been amazing to see the change in her eyes over the past couple weeks.  We sat on a little bench under a tarp-roof, and I asked her, What is your biggest dream for your family?  I will always remember the way I felt when she told me that she wants her family sealed in the Temple. 

The Temple is real.  Families really are forever.  I miss you guys so bad, but if my investigator gets her family sealed in the Temple, it will be worth all the time I spend in Tahiti.

I love you.  

Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ love us.

Have a happy week!
Soeur Mann

#15 - Childlike Faith

Bonjour, famille!

Well here I am, one month down in good ol' Tahiti.  First of all:  I.  Love.  You.  I will never ever be done telling you people how much I love you.

Second of all, my very own Hi Dad Soup is my bishop!  I can't wait for my next Bishop's interview! I am so, so happy for you, Dad.  I am so happy for my Hyde Park First Ward that I love so much!  I will be praying for you every single day!

Bernie, have you made your Christmas list yet?  I hope that this year is the year you finally get some blue hair dye and a stinking bag to put your clothes in.  

Mom, have you bought Dad some slippers from Kohls yet?  I hope the house is all glowy and cozy and nice these days.  And I am very happy to hear that you talk to me every day, cuz sometimes I talk to you too. 

Mill, I didn't even realize that you'll be speaking Portuguese!  Sigga say wha?  I thought it was Spanish, but duh, Brazil is Portuguese!  You're getting your CNA?  What the heck is going on over there?  I know why you're getting your CNA.  So you can take good care of Pappa when he is old.  That's very nice of you.

I really, really miss you guys.  I really, really, really, reeeeeally love you guys.
Things are going well- sometimes the ups, sometimes the downs, all the time amazing blessings from Heavenly Father.

Here are some things you don't know about my mission that you should know:

This is one of those places where you kiss everyone on the cheek when you see them.  Even strangers.  Before church starts, we go around and say Bonjour to everyone and do the kiss on cheek thing.  It is very hard not to be friends with someone after you just did that.

I realized why it feels like everyone is family.  It's cuz literally everyone is family.  I am SO confused all the time about who is related to who.  Absolutely everyone is everyone's in-law. 

This is also one of those places where you stand at the edge of the yard and yell for the person in the house, never knock on the door. 

The people here have the most incredible faith you've ever seen.  It really humbles me.  I think often about the phrase "childlike faith."  When you're little, you don't have any doubt at all that God exists and answers your prayers and performs miracles for you.  That's how so many of the Tahitians are.  They believe in actual miracles, and they really do see them.  Its astounding and humbling and beautiful.

I had a really cool experience this week.  A big chunk of the work we do is with inactive members.  This area is full, full, full of inactive members.  This week we had a lesson with a lady and I was in charge of delivering the message.  I prayed about it in the morning and had no idea what I would share.  I really had no direction, but I remembered that the Lord told us that if we seek His word first, He will give us what we need to say in the very moment we need it.  So I just did my study the best I could, and left without any idea what I would share.

Later in the day, it was time for the lesson.  We were hiking up the steep, rocky road to her house, and I was praying in my heart for help, because I still didn't know what I would say.  Out of nowhere, literally out of nowhere, the story of Moses and the brass serpent came to my mind.  So I grabbed my scriptures and searched for it while we hiked up the hill.

I shared the story for the lesson, and it was truly miraculous how the Spirit worked.  She'd never heard the story before, and it was not too easy to explain in French.  But when I finished explaining, and asked if she understood, she went on and on in detail, explaining exactly what it meant and how it applied to her, and how it was an answer to all the thoughts she'd been having that week.    She was so touched, and the Spirit was so strong.  I couldn't believe it.  He really, literally gave me the exact thing to say.

This picture is of a sweet family we are teaching, also an inactive family.  The mom is single and takes care of all these kids on her own.  The lessons are nuts because they are in Tahitian and the kids are so rowdy, but I love these kids a lot.  Yesterday in church, one of the little girls was there, and I helped her sing the hymn, and we gave her some cookies to eat.  I don't think I taught her very much in the lessons, but she knows I love her, and I think that's teaching a lesson, too.

I love you all with all my heart.  One little last thought, it being the Christmas season- I remember Luke Hollingsworth and I talking one time about Christ's hands when he was a baby.  I keep thinking about that.  There is something incredibly beautiful in that thought.

Much, much love,

Soeur Mann

#14 - Believe in Love

Myyyyyy family is my favorite pal, and I love them every day!!!!

Hi, Mom!  Hi, Dad!  Hi, Mill!  Hi, Berns!  Hi, Benny!  If there is one thing I want to say, its this:  I love you.  Holy cow, I love you guys so much.  

THANK YOU for your emails.  Please keep writing me every week and talk about whatever the heck you want.  And please write me letters! I will try and send some, too.  They are apparently faster going out than going in.

Fam, I miss you so bad.   But I'm realizing that its okay, and you know why?  Because we love each other.  And I believe in love.  Our family knows that love is not just an emotion, but a real, binding, eternal power.  If you really believe in Jesus Christ, you believe that.  I cant really express this in an email, especially with a time constraint, but I want you to know that I really believe in families.  I believe they last forever.  I love you with all my heart, and I know that it is really only through Jesus Christ that we are the happy, eternal family we are.  And I love Him for that.  

Now I would like to tell you a story.  One morning this week I was trying to do personal study next to my companion and our friend Hereti.  The stress and loneliness of the language and homesickness was just wearing on me so bad.  I quietly left the table and went into the bathroom, knelt down and cried.  I cried and cried.  My companions eventually figured out what was going on and kinda comforted me, and I brushed myself off and moved on.

Later that day we had a first lesson with an older lady.  She brought us onto her patio and introduced us to her mom, a very, very old lady, all wrinkled and small.  Her eyes are kind of cloudy with cataracts, and she can barely hear or talk.  During the lesson my companion talked with the first lady, but I just kept eye contact with this sweet old woman.  She kept pointing to her ears and mouth, trying to explain to me that she couldnt understand.  

My heart was just bursting.  Everyone else kept talking, but I just stared at this lady with all the love I could possibly give.  For the whole lesson, I held her gaze and smiled.   At the end, I went over and stroked her hand and kissed her on the head.  Neither of us followed everything in the lesson, but we had spoken to each other.  As we rode our bikes away, I cried for the second time that day, out of gratitidue for the beautiful way God teaches us.  Without the pain of the morning, I wouldnt have understood this womans frustration they way I did.  But because of my small suffering, I was able to relate to her and love her with a real sincerity.  

Life is beautiful!
All my love, 
Soeur Mann