#76 - Last Letter (from Tahiti)

Dear Family, I love you!!

Well. This is my last* letter home from my mission.

The truth is, there is no possible way an email can say what I want to say.  The good news is, that's alright, because I will always be with you forever and ever, and I don't need to say everything right now.

Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

This scripture really hit me one night when I was sitting on my top bunk in my bedroom at the MTC.  I remember writing it in my journal and feeling so inspired, and I decided that it would be my mission scripture.  I had no idea what I was even getting into. Seriously, no idea. When I look back on the past year, it's kind of like a flip-book, and I see all these images just zipping by: dirt roads, chapels, wooden benches, hundreds of wonderful Polynesian faces.  And I think of all the things my heart went through: joy, doubt, confidence, peace, frustration, anger, patience, humility, fatigue, all of it.  I chose that scripture in the MTC without even realizing to what degree I was heading into the biggest adventure of my life.  

But I can tell you now that it's true.

I remember writing a long time ago a thought I'd had about moving mountains.  That was at the beginning of my mission when I felt like I had just arrived at the bottom of the Himalayas, with just me and a backpack full of scriptures.  

Not being able to communicate: Mountain.
Missing you all to death: Mountain
Trying to bring strangers to the gospel: Mount Everest itself.

And now here I am, 18 months later, and I'm on the other side! I speak French.  I'm coming home to you again.  And there are is group of Tahitians that now know the Savior and live the true joy of His gospel.

It happened.  I literally watched mountains move, and we moved them with a shovel. 

 I really, really hope that all the steps I've taken, all the prayers I've said, all the conversations I've had have done something permanently good for the people I've served.  One thing I definitely do know is that all those steps and prayers and conversations have done something permanently good in my life.

A year or so ago, Mom sent me a necklace with three little silver keys on it.  There was a key representing these three things: hope, faith and charity.  Those are the three things I've gained on my mission.

I can testify without a single doubt- not one doubt- that we have a loving Heavenly Father, a real Person who hears us, helps us, cares about us.  He is our Father, and He is the One who created this marvelous plan that allows us to be here on earth.  Jesus Christ is His Son, our Brother, and He took His turn on this earth 2000 years ago. Because He and the Father love us perfectly, and through that perfect love, He was able to put Himself in our place through the miracle of The Atonement, where he felt and understood us, one by one, and took upon Him the burden of every single wicked thing in this world.  And He overcame all of it. Today, He is the One Person who understands us all truly and is capable of healing us, encouraging us, and empowering us.  He is the Savior.

Think about that.  When you look at the world and see weakness and sadness and regret and disappointment and then you hear that there is One Person that loves us all anyway, does that do something to your heart?  That's hope.

And when your hope is so high and your heart is so full that you are ready to do something to know this Person and be like Him, that's faith.

And when you are trying to be like Him, when you are loving and serving and giving to the point that you start to understand a little bit what He must feel for all of us, that's charity.

I love my mission.  Truly, Christ has strengthened me, and He has moved mountains with me.  And because of Him, I know for myself what the three keys of happiness are.

Life is beautiful.
All my love,
Soeur Mann

*Editor's Note:  This may be her last letter from Tahiti, but it won't be the last thing you hear from her . . .

#73 - Relativity

Hello, all you champs out there!  January 13, 2014, and I still love you!  

And I am still loving my missionary life.  I am very excited for tonight because we are doing a family home evening with a family who are all investigators except for two sons.  Yesterday their sister came to church and said that they have been reading the Book of Mormon as a family... wha?  We are definitely going to be teaching about the Book of Mormon tonight.  We have been praying a lot to find a family to teach, not just one person at a time, and maybe this will be the one!  I hope so!  

Yesterday I was just sitting in a meeting and making this little clicky noise with my fingernails, and I could barely hear it.  I brought my hand up to my ears and kept making the clicking noise, and it was very loud once it was right next to my eardrum.  I started thinking about this Jack Johnson song that I love, which I think is called, "It's All Relative." (Editor's note: "It's All Understood") Was my little clicky noise loud or quiet? - it's relative, it depends on how close you are to the noise.

One of the lessons I have learned on my mission is that lots of things are relative.  People's opinions, perspectives, attitudes, reactions can be so very, very different.  Some little comment at church might be for one person a tiny little click that goes in one ear and out the other, but for another person it was loud, hurtful attack.  You can spend forever debating on what it actually was and who is to blame, but it in the end, it turns out that truly the same exact thing can be taken many ways.  Sometimes that makes it hard to "get" each other.
     
Something I am learning is that that's okay.  Especially living with a companion, I have had to learn that my vision, way of teaching, sense of humor, basically everything, is not actually the only one, true way.  Surprise.  Lots of times I've sat in lessons and thought, "Oh my heck, this is not going well, this is not the route we should be taking..." and so on, and then the next thing I see is the investigator's head nodding up and down- my companion is saying exactly what needed to be said.  I've realized that I need to trust people more and let them be them because their perspective is just as valid as mine.
With this same thought, I've been thinking a lot about the Atonement.  It really makes a lot of sense- of course we needed Him.  We need one Person who understands every single one of us, who "gets" our perspective even if no one else does.  There's so much comfort in knowing that there is one Person who understands us.  It's also comforting to know that there is one Person who understands the "other" person- why they think that, why they are acting like that.  And the most important thing:  He loves both of us.  Infinitely and perfectly, and just the same.  I think the challenge of all this is to filter out and determine what things are relative and what things are not.  But one thing that is sure- we can love everyone and anyone, no matter what their perspective may be.

Now for some regular old Tahiti stuff- this is a picture of me being a real Tahitian vahine. (Tahitian woman)  You can tell I am a vahine by a couple of things.  1.  I am holding some pineapples that I am about to eat.  These pineapples were given to us by a recent convert that sells them at a little stand on the side of the road next to the ocean.  We stopped over there to see how she was... and we both secretly hoped she would give us some fruit.  Our wish was granted!  2.  I am wearing a pareo, the little skirt-y things you tie around your waist.  I love them.  I intend to wear them forever. Something I am not looking forward to in my future life- wearing jeans again.  Those things are not meant for humans to wear, in my opinion.  I think we should all convert to pareos.  Might be a little cold, but we can deal.

Last night I was just sleeping in my bed, and I heard a loud BANG.  The door had slammed shut, and I really, truly believed there was a scary guy in our room, and he'd just slammed the door shut.  My poor little heart.  I said, calmy and loudly, "Soeur Paraurahi." She woke up.  And I promptly began to speak to her in English.  Ha ha! Too scared to remember French!  The sweetie pie turned on the light and I finally got it together to explain myself.  She was not even bugged and got up to search the house for the imagined scary guy.  Turns out is was just the opened upper-window in the bathroom, the wind had shut the door.  I will love her forever for not being mean about that dumb moment.

A few nights ago we ate with a young couple for our nightly dinner appointment.  I love their house- it reminds me of the wooden-y, boat-y houses like on the movie "Popeye."  So tiny and cozy, and I felt so comfortable with them.  We finished eating, and I started to ask them about their conversion story.  I was so touched by their story- the husband was a serious, deep bible studier before he met the missionaries.  He was invited to a family home evening and was really touched to see a family interacting like that.  The first time the missionaries came over and told him about Joseph Smith, he believed.  He said that he knew God could and would call a prophet after the time of Christ, and he felt the Spirit instantly tell him that it was right.  The Spirit was so strong in that little room.  After he finished telling his story, I asked if we could say a prayer together, just before heading out.  He asked me to say the prayer.  As I knelt down, my heart was so full of thanks.  So thankful to be here, so thankful for kind people, thankful for prophets and scriptures, and the Spirit that we all felt together.  I just said a prayer of thanks.  

I am thankful for life.  I am thankful for all of you.  
All my love,
Soeur Mann

#75 - Sorry

Bad news; no letter this week from Micail.  But for those who are interested, she will be coming home on February 12.  She will be speaking in our ward on February 23 at 11:00.  We have a big ward, so if you are coming, you want to be here by 10:50 or so.  Here are links to the blogs for the other Sister Mann and Sister King.  
http://sisterameliamann.blogspot.com/ 
http://sistercourtneyking.blogspot.com/

#74 - Crab Story

Bonjour to one and all!  I love you!

- I would like you to know, Amelia, that your hair is famous even in Tahiti.  We talked about you in our ward council yesterday.  Haha!  I told my bishop the story about you singing for the Christmas thing and how people remember you easily because of your head, and he mentioned that little story in ward council.  Truly, you are so blessed to have your hair.  But the real point of this story is this- after telling them about you singing in Brazil, my ward got all curious and they're like... "Waaaait... your little sister plays piano and sings and you dooon't?..."  Right after our meeting they were having a choir rehearsal for our little missionary fireside this Saturday.  The bishop's wife literally came up and said, "I KNOW you can play piano, Soeur Mann.  You say a prayer right now and ask Heavenly Father help your fingers play the piano for our choir rehearsal."  Oh, boy.  That's what you get when your little sister's all talented and stuff.  You have to follow in her stinking footsteps.  But actually, it was wonderful!  K, I really couldn't play all the songs with all four parts at once.  No can do- but!  I was able to play the parts one by one so our little choir could learn the harmonies!  And we had a blast!  And I will be singing a little solo this Saturday of "We Thank Thee Oh God for a Prophet."  It was such a fun evening to sing with these members and laugh and enjoy.  I'm definitely not a pianist, but I was so thankful that I could help a little bit.  Thanks, Mom and Dad, for the piano/voice lessons.  Thanks, Mill, for inspiring our little choir.  Thanks, Luke, even though this story has nothing to do with you, it feels like you should be a part of this little thank-you moment.  You rock.

- I would now like to tell you a little story about two crabs.  It seems my emails kind of have themes.  Right now we are on the "crab" theme.  Sorry.  But I really do want to tell you about this little experience, because I thought it was pretty interesting.  So I was sitting outside just an hour or so ago while Soeur Paraurahi was doing her emails, and I was trying to read my scriptures, but I couldn't really focus cuz something kept clankin' around in the tin garbage can next to my feet.  It was two little crabs.  I really have no idea how they got in the garbage can, but they were in there just causing a ruckus, so I put down my scriptures and decided to observe them.  For awhile I just left them in there and watched them try and get out.  I didn't really want to let them out, cuz I didnt know if the people who live here put them in there or what.  But finally it was just getting too sad.  They were struggling and struggling with all their might, but every time they tried, they would slip down the sides of the can.  Finally I decided it was time to give them a little help.  I took the can out into the yard and flipped it over so they could crawl out.  The first little guy was so funny.  At first he kind of hesitated, tip-toed out to the sun, and the second he realized he was back in the grass, he sprinted with glee, click-click-click, back to his hole, as fast as his happy little crab legs could carry him!  Then I waited and waited for the second crab to come out.  Instead he just sat there in the very back of the can, all covered in trash.  I tried to move the trash a little bit to show him, hello, you can come out now... but he was just sitting back there all cranky.  I finally gave up and went back to my scriptures and he just sat there lamely in the trash.

So of course I started thinking about my scriptures, and my investigators, and life, and these two crabs.  First of all, I realized that sometimes we find ourselve stuck in a bunch of trash.  Everybody has that.  Sometimes we crawl or fall into it, sometimes someone dumps us in there, it doesn't really matter though, because all we know is we are stuck in a bad thing and we cant get out. And so many times, we have to ask for help.  No matter what we do, we'll never make it alone.  Addiction, low self-esteem, fighting at home, gossiping, lack of motivation, all that trash.  One thing I know for sure is that there is truly, truly Someone who can help.  When we are humble and ask the Savior to help us out of a problem, he always does.  I've seen that over and over in my life and plenty of lives here on my mission.

One hard and good reality, though, is this:  He doesn't take us out of the trash.  He will always, always turn the can over and make a path, but we are the ones that have to climb out.  When I was looking at that crab just sitting in his little corner, I thought, "Why the heck aren't you coming out?  It's all sunny and great, I turned the can over, just move your feet four inches and you're free!"  Maybe he was scared.  Maybe he was mad at his friend for getting out so fast and leaving him there.  Maybe he was embarrassed that I had to help him and he didn't want to admit it.  Maybe he just didn't realize what a good chance this was.  

The point is, it was up to him.  And it is up to us, too!  When we want out of a bad situation or a bad habit, we really can ask for help.  Heavenly Father loves us, and he wants us to be free, happy, clickin across the yard with a big smile on our face.  But He cannot and will not force us to change.  We have to decide to leave the garbage behind.  

I have a testimony that people can leave the garbage behind.  It is so hard, sometimes, but it is worth it.  Also, just because we missed a first chance or took a long time doesn't mean we can't ever get out.  The second little crab finally did decide to crawl out.  He just waited til I stopped watching.  And now he is probably happily embracing his little crab wife down in their little crab house under the sand.  

 I love our Heavenly Father and His wise, good plan of salvation that lets us choose and grow.  I love our Savior Jesus Christ for helping us along the way.  I love you all.  Life is beautiful!

All my love,
Soeur Mann

#72 - Things About My Life

Io ora na, to'u utuafare here!  I love you forevah!

Things about my life:
- Before my mission I looked up all the Tahiti pictures on google and stuff and it always looked so tropical and gorgeous and all that.  On my mission I've seen some very beautiful places, but I was kinda like.... those google images were kind of a scam...  Well, guess what?  No they weren't.  Moorea looks exactly as picturesque as all those incredible photos you see online.  It's real.  I have been here a week and I am still in awe.  I didn't realize that places this beautiful existed in real life.  This morning I was cleaning the bathroom upstairs (I have my own bathroom nowadays- life is so good) and I sat in the windowsill and put my feet on the roof and just sat still and looked at all of it.  
- Life here is different from Tahiti, even though we really aren't far away.  It's so calm and simple and perfect.  It's like a spiritual refuge.  Something a little difficult is that they do speak a lot more Tahitian over here.  Time for me to tell you guys something- I really don't speak Tahitian very well at all.  There are words I use all the time, but my mission has mostly taken place in French-town.  So when I got here and everyone was like, "A mea papu roa te reo tahiti ia oe?"  I was like... shoot.  But I have been amazed at the help Heavenly Father has given me.  Here is something I have definitely observed this past week- the Spirit is real, and He really does open our minds.  I have seen the gift of tongues, the actual, real-deal gift of tongues, at work this week.  Yesterday I went to relief society in Tahitian.  They do one class in French and the other in Tahtitian.  Our class was held outside, just a few old mamis and us sittin' on some folding chairs.  It rained a little bit, but no one even cared.  And the wonderful thing- I understood!  Certainly not everything, but I followed along, and I have learned firsthand on my mission this truth:  When our spirits are well, when we are obedient and grateful, the Spirit really does come.  And he really does teach us and help us.  That is a fact.  I'm not really planning on speaking fluent Tahitian like a pro in the next 5 weeks, but I am grateful I get to practice it more because I really love this language.  Its a language that represents the culture and people I love.  
-   Last night we were eating dinner (chicken cooked in coconut milk with taro) and I look over and see a large crab sitting there eating his dinner, too.  There are crabs all over the place here.  People's yards are sometimes literally made of sand, so the crabs come and dig holes all over.  At night they come out and they scramble around all over the place.  Something I didn't realize is that crabs actually feed themselves with their little pincer hands.  They just sit upright and bring their hands to their mouths, just like us.  I was so charmed by that funny little crab- me and him, just eatin' our dinner together at the same time.
- Those same darling crabs are also smushed all over the street in the form of road-kill.  I do love them, but it is also I little bit satisfying to crunch a crab.  Two days a week we have a car, and you really can't avoid them.  But I figure they were already living in paradise, so their transition to the spirit world is probably a breeze.  Sorry, crabbies!
- I straight-up adore my companion!  Another soul sister discovered on the mission!  Soeur Atamoe Paraurahi lives true to her name and talks a whole lot, and I love it.  I look forward to our companionship studies every day because she just cracks me up.  She is totally cool about everything, never stressin out, never too worked up, and she is completely obedient and dedicated to the work.  Its so fun to work with someone who likes to work.  It makes life very pleasant.  She is from the island of Raiatea.  Something I love about her is that she just lets me be me.  And she laughs at hard things or obnoxious things, rather than get cranky or worried.  Huge blessing to finish my mission with such a great companion.
- Our bishop is 29 years old.  He wears t-shirts and hats turned backward.  Cool.
- There are no streetlights on this island.  When we ride our bikes home at night, its just a billion bright stars, palm trees, and the ocean waves crashing.  
- The sisters in this area rocked it, and basically all their investigators got baptized last month!  Amazing!  Now we have lots of work to do to find new investigators to teach.  I'm at the point in my mission where there is no fear, nothing to lose, faith in this message is sure, so opening my mouth and talking to people is not hard anymore.  I know this message is true.  I know that living the gospel will bring these people joy.  So it's not scary anymore to talk about it. 
- I got a card from Trina the other day that sang me a lovely loud song and made my day!  Thank you, Trina!  She said she likes to hear about the food, so I will tell you a little more about the food.  My favorite Tahitian dish?  U'ru pua'atoro.  English translation: Cooked breadfruit with corned beef.  You eat it nice and hot. With your hands.  Attached is a picture of a sweetie pie Papi cookin some u'ru (breadfruit) Tahitian style.  One thing I never want to eat again for the rest of my life:  chow mein.  Something odd about Tahiti is that their main food source in the evenings are these little restaurants run out of the back of vans.  They all sell the same food: lemon chicken, beef and brocoli, and chow mein.  If I ever eat chow mein again....  
- Something I learned and believe this week:  The bible dictionary entry under "revelation of John"- at the end of the paragraph it says that all the prophets since the beginning of time have prophesied of the final days when Christ would come again. The part that stood out to me: They all taught "that the end would be better (more glorious) than the beginning. The victory would be achieved through Jesus Christ." 
- I believe that phrase with all my heart.  The end will always be better than the beginning.  Along the way, there are ups and downs and happy and sad, and it's best to just stay where you are and get what you can out of the present moment.  No need to rush anything.  But people who believe in Christ, that He loves us, that He cares about us, and that life is eternal, know that there is always more good to come.  
- Family, I know Christ lives.  Life is beautiful!  
All my love,
Soeur Mann
The Other Sister Mann's Blog

# 71 - Moorea

People, people!  I have an announcement to make!  I am actually in Paradise at this very moment!  I took a boat this morning on the real, live Pacific Ocean, and I arrived on my sweet island home for the next 6 weeks, the beautiful island of Moorea.  And I LOVE it.  And I love you, too.  We won't forget to say that first thing.  I am just pretty darn stoked to be here.  What a cool blessing to be able to finish my mission in this gorgeous place.  It is totally different from Pirae, where I just was, which is in the city.  Now I am back to true-blue Tahitian living, totally the "island cool" style of life, and I can't wait to put my heart into this area with all I've got until the end.  

The first picture is of where the boat drops you off- on the boat I was excited to be a missionary all by myself, so I tried talking to some people.  The first guy rejected me hard-core.  Shame, because he was from New Zealand, and I thought it would be cool to talk about the gospel in English.  No-go.  But the second man was extremely nice and smiley, and randomly lives right in Pirae, my area I just left.  I bought myself a quiche and ate it with the ocean wind just whippin through my hair and felt 100% happy.

The second photo is of where I actually am in this exact second, and the girl is my wonderful new companion, Soeur Paraurahi, which means "talks a lot."  We get along great so far, and I can see I'm going to love her.

Folks, I would love to write some more things, but I'm a little too excited to be here, and I just want to go explore.  Plus my companion's bike tire just blew up, so we gotta figure that out.  

Family, I was so happy to see you on Christmas, especially Grandma and the Bradleys- good surprise Christmas present!  I love you dearly.  Talking to Mill was especially cool- the one single time we'll both see each other as missionaries. Maybe. Im' pretty sure I'll have a badge on again some day.  Hopefully a couple more times.  Missions are good.

For New Years resolutions, here's my thought- we really can do anything.  Millzie played the piano and sang in Portuguese in front of a billion people in Brazil. (Amelia's Blog) Really, we can do big stuff.  Set cool resolutions this year- life is beautiful!

All my love,
Soeur Mann
(Editor's Note: You can hear about the third picture on February 23rd at 11:00 AM in the Hyde Park 1st Ward.)

#70 - Merry Christmas!

Sorry I didn't write a big letter this week because I'm going to talk to you on Wednesday.  I hope you guys have already watched "It’s a Wonderful Life" - if not, drop everything and do that.  

Jesus Christ is the reason our family is happy and will be together forever.  Our family loves Him so much.  I'm so glad I had these two Christmases away from you, because I will celebrate it differently, at least in my heart, forever.  Have a wonderful Christmas Eve Eve today and a happy, happy day tomorrow.  We have a true reason to celebrate - He lives!

I love you.
Tel

#69 - Peace and Love

Ia ora na, family! For my greeting this week I would like to quote a song I learned on Q92:
"You're the meaning in my life, you're the inspiraaaation... you bring feeling to my life, you're the inspiraaaation!"

Yesterday was a happy, happy, blissful day!  In fact, there were many happy moments this week.  Yesterday was particularly fanstastic because it was our mission Christmas get-together, and they actually brought in ALL the missionaries, from all the islands, and we got to see every single pal with a badge in French Polynesia.  It was truly Christmas.  Something swell is that our MTC group has really just gotten more and more unified over time.  Even while some of us have been out roughin' it in the middle of the ocean, we still have a tight-knit little group, and eating mashed potatoes and stuffing (thank you, couple missionaries) and laughing about MTC memories was one of the cheeriest moments I've had in a while.  It was so good to see each other and see that these missionaries really have become better people over this year.  Still the same funny personalities and stuff, still the same people, but definitely a little better.  I love, love the missionaries in my mission.  Another thought from that- stuff that was not funny in the MTC, like little points of contention and friction, is definitely funny now.  Everything's fine after the fact.  Hard to remember in the moment, but it's true.

Also, this week we got to go to the Temple. I can say with no hesitation that I know the Temple is the House of The Lord.  I felt truly like I was in another spot that isn't here in the middle of the world.  It is a sacred place, and the ordinances performed there are real and true.  Interesting too that last year I felt like a was going to die a little bit after leaving because I was still so stressed and worried about this whole being-a-missionary thing, and this year I was happy to get back to work.  Things get better with time.

Mom and Grandma- I got your Christmas packages, they both arrived safe and sound.  Thank you!!  

Now I would just like to let you know about Soeur Morgan Taylor, who was in the bike accident last week.  I know that there must be lots of people where we live that are aching for her and thinking a lot about her.  I don't know enough details about her condition to say anything on that because I don't want to give false information, but I can tell you that this island has been sending up thousands and thousands of prayers for her.  Our mission fasted together for her, and yesterday we all said a kneeling prayer together for her.  The members here love her so much, and everyone asks about her wherever we go.

I actually had the rare chance to get to visit her in the hospital, which I think was a tender mercy from Heavenly Father so I could let some fellow Cache Valley people know that I have seen her, and that she is being taken care of.  Seeing her was actually a very spiritual experience.  We saw her Sunday afternoon, and she was in a coma while we talked to her, but it was good to be in the room with her and let her know she is loved.  Afterwords Soeur Chytraus and I said a prayer for her, and I felt an enormous peace fill me up.  I'm sending all my love and prayers to her family and all the people in Cache Valley who love her.  What an incredibly hard thing.  I can't imagine how her family must be hurting and worrying.  I do know, and I felt so clearly with her, that it will be okay.  Heavenly Father is in control, He loves her, and He will take care of her and her loved ones.

I love you all dearly.  Thank you for being in my beautiful life.
All my love, 
Soeur Mann

#68 - Salt

Hi, folks!  I love you with all my soul.  

This morning I finally understood a scripture that I think everyone else has understood this whole time, and maybe it wasn't even a correct interpretation, but it gave me a lot of light, so I think it counts no matter what.  I was reading in 3rd Nephi 12:13- "I give unto you to be the salt of the earth; but if the salt shall lose its savor, wherewith shall the earth be salted?"  My whole life I have wondered what Christ was talking about there.  I finally understood thanks to my lunch yesterday, which was an avocado.  Soeur Chytraus kindly shared her avocado with me, and even though it was good plain, it was great with a little salt sprinkled on top.  Today as I read that verse I thought about that salt and how it brought out the delicious flavor of the avocado.

Now I'm going to tell you about another experience I had this week and what that has to do with the salt thing.  Friday after our district meeting, Soeur Chy and I were leaving the chapel to walk back to our house for lunch.  Right as we came out of the chapel gate, I noticed a young girl walking really fast down the sidewalk, and I was so excited to see that it was a cute little girl that I taught in Puurai. I sped over to give her a hug but realized immediately that she was not okay.  She was shaking and crying, and obviously very scared.  I asked her where she was going and she said she was going to walk home to Puurai from Papeete, which is a far too-long distance to walk for a little girl.  I didn't know, but she's been moved to a sort-of foster home now, and that morning a member of her foster family beat her.  They thought she'd stolen a cell-phone, and she hadn't.  She was too scared to go back to the house. It was a literal miracle that I crossed her path right at the moment she was on the sidewalk.  We took her straight in to the chapel, where there is a little self-reliance office and a couple missionary from St. George serving.  We sat with her and held her hand, gave her some water and oranges and got her calmed down.  Our stake president happened to be there, so he came and made some calls and tried to see what he could do.  It was a horrible situation, but I am so thankful that Heavenly Father arranged things so we could take her in.  I felt horrible that there was nothing I could really do because of legal issues, but I promised her that even though she might have some very hard things to go through, Heavenly Father would listen to her prayers and help her like He just had.  Then we had to leave.

As we walked home, I just could not even take it.  I was so burning angry, and so sad.  I went upstairs in our apartment and just cried.  One of the hardest things about my mission has been seeing people hurt.  I hate it.  I was really overcome with how plain sad life is sometimes, and for a moment I felt totally helpless.  But I decided to say a prayer, and that prayer brought filled me up with peace.  I realized that even though the world is a sad place sometimes, the hope of Christ is bigger than that.   A very strange feeling- feeling deeply the need for Christ's atonement and then looking down at your badge and remembering that you are one of His missionaries.  That's a cool feeling.  So we got up and went out and taught one of the best lessons I've ever taught on my mission.  I realized that what I am sharing is the one, the literal only thing, that can make things fully and permanently better.  That's true.  The Savior's Atonement, which completes the beautiful plan of Heavenly Father makes this life make sense.  He is what gives us the hope that we have a reason to live, even when things are hard, and that things will always get better.  For some, and depending on the period of our lives, His love is what pulls us out of the extreme pain of abuse or neglect, and other times it is what pushes us through a stressful day at work.  Either way we need Him.  

So I realize a little better what it means when Christ tells us, His believers, that we are the salt of the earth.  Many people are just trying to get through this life.  It's like a bland avocado- you can do it, you can survive, you can eat and sleep and keep going, because there is no other choice.  But when you know the Savior, you know that this life is so much more than that.  It is rich and deep, and there is a reason we are here.  We are loved.  We belong to God's family, and this experience is to make us more like Him.  

People need to know that.  They need to know that this life is better than they think it is, or at least it's going to get better.  They need to taste the joy of the gospel and get the full vision of this little earth experience.  And we are the salt.  We are there to bring them the message- if we lose our "savor" or our spiritual perspective, we don't serve our purpose.  

I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior and that He has a perfect love for us.  He is there. Let's all go sprinkle salt in the lives of those we love and make their lives a little better.

All my love,
Soeur Mann

#67 - That's The Covenant We Made

I just saw The Coolest Thing.  

Hello to all of you, I love you enormously, and The Coolest Thing was a breath-taking hike we just went on to three waterfalls!  My entire mission I haven’t been on one hike, and finally I got to go, and let me tell ya, it was stunning.  Hiking is good for the soul.  In fact, hiking is necessary for my soul, and a hike through the literal jungle of Tahiti just leaves your heart full.  This world is beautiful.  We were sitting there next to a waterfall and I sat down on a rock and had a few minutes to just think for a couple minutes, and I thought about how I am seriously just a speck.  This huge black wall of rock covered in hundreds of thick lush plants and hundreds of gallons of water spilling over it- that's one waterfall out of thousands.  And waterfalls are just one type of amazing, beautiful thing in this world.  I thought about how all I am is just one little 5'4" of creature- two lungs, one heart, not even a big thing in this gigantic universe.  But that didn't make me feel bad.  It just made me want to be kind, calm, just keep living and appreciating how marvelous this whole earth is.  It was a very nature-lovey moment.  And I liked it.  

I loved Mill's Thanksgiving story- yahoo for rainy Thanksgivings!  I also had a swell day, particularly one moment.  We were hiking (okay, I guess that's not true that I don’t hike, seeing's how I hike all over my area everyday) up a big, fat hill to get to our lesson, and I realized that it was about that exact same time you all would be eating pie. Luckily I had the sense to turn around and take a look at the view behind me- the ocean and a huge valley of homes scattering the mountainside.  Lovely.  It started to rain, and I personally love walking barefoot on wet roads.  So I took off my flip-flops.  I pushed my bike all the way up that hill barefoot in the rain and sang, "Marshmallow World in the Winter" to myself.  And parents, don't worry about the walking barefoot thing.  I already know Dad is telling me how dangerous that is.  But it's okay, just talk to Grandma Mann about it.

This week I got to go teach two lessons with Soeur Green, that absolute pal.  We got to this lesson teaching two little girls that own 11 cats.  We started singing our opening hymn and one of the little girls picked up a kitten, held him in the air, and started waving his lil' paws around like he was conducting the song.  For some reason, this really, really cracked me up.  I don't feel like I actually laugh too much on my mission, like little pleasant chuckles, but never laugh really hard.  But I actually had laughing tears in my eyes.  I think part of it was just that I was so happy to be with my best friend, and we both just lost control in the song.  For those who understand this small reference, think "kitten yoga." 

This morning I read an article from last year's December Ensign that talked all about Christ's birth.  For some reason it really struck me today, the story of the nativity.  Think about Mary actually getting to that inn and realizing that she was going to have to give birth to the Savior in a stable, complete with donkeys and dogs and camels and things.  I mean, this really happened.  He was born in a stable.  One of my favorite names of the Savior is Emmanuel- God with us.  He was here with us, and He is still with us.  How comforting that is!  And what does that mean for us?  I think one of the things He taught us is that we need to be with people.  We need to literally put ourselves next to them, physically, and move through their trials with them.  Earlier this week I was with someone who was feeling very sad about the loss of a loved one she lost years ago.  I didn't know what to say.  She left for a minute, and I had these words come very clearly into my mind- "Mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort."  That's the covenant we made. That is truly what The Lord asks us to do, and that is why we love Him so much.  He was here with us, in a global sense as a human being on earth, and each of us personally in Gethsemane.  Sometimes it’s hard to plop ourselves down in the middle of a problem, and sometimes it feels very easy to just say, "Well, I'd rather not get involved."  But sometimes that's what we need to do, because people need people.  The Savior, the most glorious person of all, was born in a stable.  Here, with us, and He let Himself get involved even if it was a burden.  Thank heaven He did.

I have an announcement to make- Mom, I would like you to get out your calendar, flip to February 14th, and write, "Make Valentines' sugar cookies with Cail."  Cuz that's exactly what you'll be doing!  I learned my return date this week, and I will be flying home February 11th, most likely arriving the 12th.  And I feel very, very content.  10 weeks is a perfect amount of time.  I have 10 weeks to love my beautiful island and serve with all of my heart right to the end.  And then I'm going to come home.  And I will be so, so happy to be home, too.

Because I love you.  So very much!  Even though I'm just a little tiny thing in this universe, just two lungs and one heart, pretty much a speck, I have people I love forever, and that means everything.  Life is beautiful!

All my love,
Soeur Mann

#66 - Legit

Hello, Dearest Familia!  How's everybody doing this balmy, sunny Thanksgiving week?  Oh, wait.  That's just me.  Sorry!  I love you guys more than all the water in the whole ocean X 100.  I love you.

What a week I just lived.  Right now I am very healthy and happy and living well.  And I'm grateful for that, because the start of this week was a little rough.  I can tell you that because it's over, and now everything's great.  This week I caught the dreaded "Zika" virus.  That's right!  I came down with a mosquito-borne epidemic virus on my mission!  I'm a legit missionary!  Apparently this sickness is sweeping the South Pacific, and it's just this weird new little thing.  What it does is give you a fever and a sick all-over-body rash and achey joints and stuff.  But then you get better after four days!  Soeur Chytraus and I both got it, so that made for a very non-productive week of missionary work. 

I know this sounds cliche, but it really did make me grateful for my health.  I think sometimes you need a good swoop of sickness to remind you how marvelous it is to have a body that can hop on a bike and ride up a hill anytime you want.   

During the illness, I had a very, very odd experience.  So, Thursday night I was laying on my bed being miserable.  I could not sleep because I was so achey, and I was just sitting there in the dark kicking my legs and not sleeping.  Things were particularly bad because for some reason I thought that removing my mattress would help my back, so I was basically laying on a hard board, loosing my mind.  Out of nowhere, my companion started to laugh very hard.  I hope this doesn't embarrass her, but she was sleep-laughing.  That was already kind of startling and upsetting.  But to make things even freaky-er, in that exact moment something caught my eye.  I look to my left and our stinking cat is sprinting up my mattress, which is leaned against the wall.  Hard board.  Companion laughing.  Wild cat in my room.  None of these events were actually related, but at 3:00 AM it seemed like they were.  I wasn't happy about it.  

But that moment passed, and it made for a very funny conversation the next morning.  But the cat's cuteness-level took a real hit.  I don't care who you are, if you are a feline, you can't come in my house.  I have been having hard feelings towards her for a couple days.  Imagine my delight two nights ago when we came home and found what curled up behind our garbage can?  Two tiny newborn kittens. 

Anyhoo, it's good to have little adventures.  Its makes for some good stories, and it adds a little spice to life.  I was thinking today about how infinitely interesting life is when you pay attention to the small things, like kittens and non-achey knees.  Life is good. 

It is Thanksgiving week, and I am a little sad that I wont be there to hold up my three corn kernels at Grandma's and eat the marshmallows off all the yams.  But I am just fine.  Because this is where I'm at, and I am blessed.  And the fact that you are all there, still you, still my family, means that no matter where I am, I have every reason to be perfectly grateful.

And most of all, I want to say that I am grateful for our Savior.  I am so thankful that Someone loves me enough to forgive me every single time I ask, and that He understands me. I am thankful for His perfect example and His perfect love in guiding me there, even when I fall very short.  He loves us still, fully and truly.  That alone is enough.  Life is beautiful.

I love you!  
Soeur Mann

#65 - The Roller Coaster

Hi, guys.  I love you.

It was another week on what I sometimes call in my head "The Hawaiian Roller-Coaster Ride."  (Even though I'm actually in Tahiti.)  Up, down, all around, havin' fun, wanting to vomit, a real experience.  We had a wonderful, wonderful moment on Saturday evening- two baptisms that night, and it went very well.  One of the girls is 14 years old, named Poeragni. The very first time we taught her, I started to tell her about prayer and my heart felt like it was on fire.  She was listening so hard, and I knew she believed it.  She was so pretty in white, and we were thrilled to see all the young women in the ward at her sides the whole night, so excited to welcome her and support her.  The other lady is named Marilyn, and she is the friend of literally everyone.  It's funny because all the missionaries in our zone go to each others' baptisms, just to be there for one another and talk to investigators and stuff, but the night of Marilyn's baptism, you could have said that every single companionship was there for "their" investigator, because every single one of us has taught this lady at some point or another.  She's kind of the ultimate ward-hopper, and she's somehow taken lessons with us all.  So finally, finally, we all got to see her reach her dream of being baptized.  Cute thing- Soeur Green and I gave the talks.  Who would have thought that one day we would both be giving the talks at the same baptism?  It was such a happy night.

I love the bike ride home at night.  It takes about 10-15 minutes to bike into our area from our houses, so every evening we have that little bike ride home, and I enjoy every minute.  I like to ride my bike with no hands and try to impress the people we pass.  I also like to sing.  I like to see how beautiful palm trees are when they are lit up by streetlights.  I love that I have a group of friends that says hi to me every night who are actually literal drug dealers, but we can still be friends anyway.  I love to finish the day knowing that no matter how I feel or how I did, I tried to do something that mattered.  Sometimes the ups and downs come, but one thing is constant, and it's that I honestly know that what I am trying to do and trying to say is good and true.  And that is enough to make this work extremely worthwhile.  

-Every day I put mango oil in the ends of my hair.  I don't know if it actually does anything, but it makes me feel like an island princess.
- Couple missionaries are the most wonderful people alive.  We've had a couple times where no one was signed up to provide us with dinner and we didn't really have anything to eat, so I got up the guts to call my wonderful mission mom, Soeur Hemming, and ask if maybe...possibly... she had anything to eat?  That's what mission living does to ya. No shame.  And of course she came over with a delicious plate of homemade Mexican food.  Heaven.  My husband better believe that we are going on a mission one day, and I am taking care of all the missionaries, just like they do for me.
- We had this odd little miracle happen the other day.  Miracle/joke.  Both are great.  We were just contacting in this neighborhood and this guy yells over, "Come talk to me!  I want to learn, too!"  He seemed to be a little under-the-influence, so we said, alright, we'll come by on Friday afternoon.  He gave us his name, which is Ardonick Barff.  So on Friday we ride over there and we don't know where he actually lives, so we just asked the first person we saw, "Do you know where Ardonick Barff lives?" This old papi with a baseball hat on.  And he says, "Yes.  That's me."  Imagine our confusion.  Turns out that he really is the only guy named that in the neighborhood, so whether it be a miracle or a practical joke, we found him.  And we are teaching him, and he is a sweetheart!  We sang him "Nearer My God To Thee" the other day, and now he wants us to sing every time we see him.  Tonight he is coming to FHE- God works in mysterious ways.

Big lesson I learned/am learning this week: Forgive easily and instantly, and don't worry about whose fault stuff is.  Fault doesnt matter in the end. Difficult thing to master, but it's the way we're all getting into heaven.

Dad- Happy Birthday, my best friend!  You are my hero.  

I love you all forever and ever!
All my love,
Soeur Mann

#64 - A Year on the Island

Family, every time I read your letters I seriously feel like I have just drink...en? I don't know how to say that.  I feel like I just drank a big old glass of agua.  It just fills up my soul.  Seriously it's like a little piece of my brain lights up that only lights up when the people you love most talk to you.  I love you so much.  I'm so thankful for you.  And I am so, so thankful that Millzy puts socks on her head and does Sméagol impressions in Brazil.  What an absolute champion.  That's exactly why I like you guys.  

The big news from the island this week:
- There are two cats living at our house.  They have been living there, without even paying rent, for about two weeks.  They are both orange and kind of cute, and they drive me nuts/bring me great joy.  They are always, always there.  I don't know why they chose us, but they have completely settled in.  I talk to them just like I talk to Lizzie, and my companion finds that humorous.  Normally I think I would kind of hate that there are two stray cats slinking around, but I actually do love coming home at night and having two buddies just sitting there on the porch waiting for us.  
- Thank you for the birthday gifts!  Grandma Mann, thank you, thank you, thank you for being so kind.  Your package was so nice- I eat those mentos so slowly.  I seriously think, "Grandma touched this package of mentos..." and eat one at a time.  I know exactly whom I'm going to give the two beautiful handkerchiefs to, too!  Two sweet women who worked with me all the time in Oremu.  They will cherish them.  Thank you so much, Grandma! And to the family- never has cereal, milk, and a funnies section touched someone's heart so deeply.  Seriously.  It's kind of like when Dad gave me a bag of chocolate chips for Christmas- it doesn't seem like much, but there's so much meaning behind it.  I loved it.  Thank you! 
- My birthday was so lovely.  The day was completely normal, and I didn't expect that we would do anything different, but that evening we got to our ward member's house where we were supposed to eat dinner.  This lady is named Stella, and she has been like the "missionary mom" for 16 years.  She's amazing.  We pull up on our bikes and all the lights were out, so I kind of suspected something.  Her husband called us in, and when they flipped on the lights, all the elders from our zone and a group of young adults from the ward were waiting to surprise me!  We had a great dinner and the girls from the ward did this amazing Tahitian dance.  My companion helped arrange the whole thing.  Amazing that no matter where we go, there are friends.  Also, I am determined to learn to move my hips like a Tahitian.  They ALL know how to do it.  They assure me that I'll be able to learn.  It really was such a fun night, just a pleasant, happy moment.
- This past week also marked my one year anniversary of being on the island.  What a crazy thing.  I have never, ever lived such a full, rich year of life.  I tried to kind of reflect on the past year as a whole, and it made me feel a bit dizzy.  I bet every missionary feels like that when they try and look back.  Too much to even really try and think about at once, but it's been wonderful.  Rich is definitely a good word for it.  I think one of the biggest overall things that's been engraven on me over the past year is the fact that doing the right thing is not a question of want or convenience.  You must try to do what's right, no matter what.  And it isn't always the easiest or the most fun, but that's not part of the question.  When we just try to do what's right, we find peace.  And peace is worth much more than fun or convenience.  
- Last night we were talking to the non-member husband of a lady in our ward.  He made us some delicious ginger-spicey vegetable stuff with pork and we ate a good meal and then got talking about the gospel.  It was an interesting conversation.  He believes in God a little, but He doesn't believe in organized religion because he says we really can't go around predicting things or acting like we know about stuff we've never seen.  I asked him what he thought will happen after this life and he replied, "No idea."  He doesn't believe in anything, really.  He thinks we ought to just live one day at a time, and we'll just see what happens.  Frankly, my knowledge on the topic of what happens after this life is only about one degree broader than his.  I don't really have a clue what will happen, exactly.  But I have a few very simple, basic truths in my heart.  I know that I will be with you guys.  How, where we will be, what we're gonna wear, if we can eat food... I have no idea.  But I know that what we have is real.  It's not just going to disappear out of nowhere.  It's going to last forever, and so that gives meaning to what we're doing.  It means we really do need to be nice to each other, be patient and humble, and be grateful.  The love between people is all we have, and everything else, literally everything else, is just extra stuff.  I know that families are eternal.  You guys are my best friends forever and ever, and therefore my life, and your lives, matter.  What we do matters.  How we treat each other matters.  And that is why we must seek after the gospel and live it.  

I love Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, and I love all of you.  I am thankful, thankful, thankful for life.  It is beautiful.

All my love, Soeur Mann

#63 - 23 Full Trips

Hello, to one and all!  I would just like to say that my favorite food might be mangos.  I am eating a mango right now, and it is so. so. good.  It is candy.  Let's all take a moment and be glad that this earth naturally produces something as good-tasting as a mango.  Brilliant.

I would also like to say that I still love you, I care about you so much, and I can't believe I am the luckiest person in the world.  I really am amazed and humbled and not grateful enough for the people in my life.  I thought a lot this morning especially about you, Mom and Dad, and all of my grandparents.  Last week when I wrote my email I was talking about some struggles I had in the beginning of my mission, but I want you to know that I got through that thanks in large part to you and all that you taught me.  I've met so many people that have overcome enormous difficulties and endured very hard childhoods, and I just simply have been so incredibly blessed in my life.  I'm so thankful for the happiness I've had, which comes from the good people who loved me and taught me.  I was thinking today about specific moments when I remember being taught important truths and hearing the testimonies of each one of you.  I love you.  Thank you.

Perhaps you will remember an email I wrote a long time ago about an old, skinny papi named Papi Vaea that we taught who didn't really listen to us too much and always seemed a little put-out by our presence, but who also had a little twinkle of "I love you" in his eyes.  Well a little while ago I got the phone call from my bishop from my old ward letting me know that Papi had passed away.  It's funny how thinking about the Plan of Salvation every day influences your thoughts, because the first thing I thought was just, "Oh, Papi... what is he even doing right this very second?"  Funny and wonderful to know that he really is just alive somewhere, still being himself.  The very sweet part of this story is this: Right before he passed away, some of Papi Vaea's last words were about two missionaries that came and talked to him about good things.  He told his family that the birthday he passed with the missionaries was one of the best birthdays he'd ever had.  When I thought back to that birthday, I remembered how Soeur D'agnillo and I were running around, super busy, but we knew that we had a visit with him, a baptismal interview for a baptism that never happened because he never could quit smoking.  We pulled over at a little store and grabbed these little hostess cake things on our way up the hill.  That night we just ate the little cakes with him, sang happy birthday, and told him we loved him.  It was the simplest, most unimpressive birthday celebration.  But a few months later, long after I'd forgotten about it, it came back to me, and it turns out that that tiny act turned out to be one of the happiest moments of the end of someone's life.   

I thought a lot about him, because he was someone that was kind of frustrating at times.  At the end of my time serving in Oremu, we didn't really see him too often because he seemed to make just about zero "progress"- he never came to church, he never really understood our French, and the poor guy, after 30 years or something, just couldn't beat the smoking thing.  So we didn't really teach him much because we didn't feel like we were bringing any good changes in his life.  But Bishop's call made me re-think about what "progress" is or what it means to be effective when it comes to being a disciple of Christ.  Of course, being a full-time missionary, I really am here to help people move forward and change, and I know that's my objective.  But in the end, for all of us, we're not really here to judge other people's progress or place a value on their time.  What matters is just being nice.  That's all.  Whether people change or come-around or progress, that's between them and God.  But everyone deserves our kindness, no matter what.  I'm excited for the next time I get to see Papi, give him a hug, and see what he's become.  Be he converted or not, I love him.

As far as the work is going, let me tell ya.  Things are going great.  I am loving, loving working with my new ward.  We have been seeing the missionary spirit and enthusiasm climbing up this past week, and already I can sense that there will be great things happening here very soon.  Delegation is key, it turns out.  And love, too.

Thanks for the birthday wishes- I'm very pleased to have made almost a full 23 trips around the sun now.  23 trips around the sun, lots more to make, and then living on and on forever- I'm alive!  How wonderful!  Life is beautiful.

All my love,
Soeur Mann

#62 - Don't Miss The Point

Dear Family,
I don't know how this happened, but apparently my letter did not get sent last week!  It was just sitting here in my drafts box- awfully sorry!  

Guys!  I am having a happy life over here!  I love you, times infinity and forever.  I love you so much.

Well, as always, we are just being flexible, and things have changed in a major way, just as they seem to every two weeks.  Last night we had another little transferoo, and I am no longer with Soeur Ariioehau, but with Soeur Chytraus, who is flat-out fantastic.  She is from San Diego/ Orange County, and she is full of great ideas and a huge testimony.  I'm still in my new area of Pirae, and I really love it.  This area is very different from my other two, and I'm grateful that I have been able to serve in three very distinct, different types of areas.  This one has a lot of apartment buildings, which is a whole other ball-game.  We also have not very many investigators, so we are just goin' around trying to talk to everyone.  It's very adventurous.  Yesterday I was kinda like... I have no idea what to do right now.  Sunday afternoon, it was drizzling a bit, we have nothing scheduled for the next 4 hours, and not a soul is outside.  I prayed that Heavenly Father would please help us find someone to talk to.  I look up, and viola, a man from our ward's head pops up from his window at the top of their apartment building.  We say hello and stuff and then he asks, "So, are you two coming up, or what?"  So we went up and talked to them about how missionary work is going at their house and they are going to talk to three people this week and invite them to take discussions.  Lovely.  Prayer answered.

I would like to respond to a few emails I received, and I would also like to congratulate you all on sending what I believe was the best batch of emails I ever received on my mission.  Seriously this was a great week for the letter department.  

1- Dad went to Why Sound.  What a cool bishop.  Ha ha!  Seriously, that cracked me up and did my soul good.  I wonder if I'll come home and see Dad in skinny jeans and a flannel shirt when I get back.  That would be fun.  And I loved the picture of Bill the Buffalo which reminded me of an important lesson you taught me- Buffalo, Bison.  Saaaame thing.  Doesn't even matter what you call it.  That whole idea is very important.

2- Mom, your email was beautiful.  Thank you, Mom.  That thought you shared from Mark 8 really touched me.  Heavenly Father and the Savior just want to help us.  Period.  Why do we always forget that there are literally People, all-powerful, Who loves us and just want to help us?  I don't really know why we forget so often, but I know that the moments we remember and really let that sink into our hearts, are the moments when life feels right.  I was thinking yesterday about why the heck Satan is so obsessed with tempting people.  Why does he even care? Here is what I think- one of the biggest differences between God and Satan, good and bad, happiness and sadness, is the fact that the One is thinking about others, and the other is thinking about himself.  All God wants us to help us.  All Satan can think about is proving that he's right, making himself look good, and proving something.  God isn't really trying to prove anything.  He's just trying to help.

Can somebody look up a program called Teach New York's Brightest?  I used to always hear radio ads about it. I think maybe after I graduate I will move to NYC and teach New York's brightest.  I don't know, but I loved your after-mission goals list, Dad.  Some of mine- learn to play guitar, run a marathon.  One of the first ones- hold a baby.  Seriously, I hate that we can't hold babies. I dont even care what baby, I just hope that the second I get released, someone hands me one.

I was really happy to hear that you guys took a little drive and went to Aggie Ice Cream and stuff.  The beginning of my mission I stressed so much all the time. I made myself crazy running around trying to be diligent and obedient, but it just made me sick. I've read quite a few quotes and talks lately that talk about Christ and how He wasn't running around frantically trying to accomplish the greatest amount of good possible.  Every moment He spent with people was special.  I started thinking and meditating during one of my studies about the moment I will get to touch the prints in His hands.  I really will have that moment.  Really. I want to hug Him.  I want to stay with Him and talk with Him, cuz He loves me most and I want to BE with Him.  I think the brief moment I got to serve with Soeur Ariioehau was done on purpose- she reminded me to enjoy this, to relax, to laugh and talk with people.  Love is about enjoying things together, about being present.  I'm taking a bit of a different approach these last couple months- always diligent, constantly serving, but as a representative of Christ, I'm going to try and really make people feel special.  I'm going to let myself enjoy it all, because that's what this is about.  Happy moments together with people we love aren't cliche, and they shouldn't be rare.  If we aren't doing that, we're missing the point.  

I love life.  I love this beautiful thing we're doing!  God lives.  He is there to help us- let's not forget that.
All my love, 
Soeur Mann 

#61 - Redirect

Sorry, no letter from this Sister Mann.  Here are links to the other Sister Mann and our spirit sister, Sister King.  
http://sisterameliamann.blogspot.com/ 
http://sistercourtneyking.blogspot.com/

#60 - Didn't Eat One, But I Did See One

Well, hello, everyone.  I love you.

This week was one of the strangest and definitely funniest weeks of my mission.  So the old companionship of elders that used to be in our area got split-up- one of them went out to the outer islands, and the other, Elder Martinson, stayed here because he is finishing his mission tomorrow, so he just stuck around in our area for the week to show us around.  He stuck with an RM in our ward, who recently got back from Australia, and who also happens to be quite possibly the funniest person that lives on this island.  So this week we were a foursome- two elders and two sisters!  Ha ha!  If only you guys could understand what I lived this week...  

First of all, remember when I said last week that my area is made entirely of hills.  Well that was a lil' understatement.  These are mountains, people.  Well, no, not by Utah standard.  But the point I want to make is that our sector is ridiculous on a bike.  And I LOVE it.  That's not like a fake, trying-to-be-positive statement.  Seriously, my soul is rejoicing.  It is so, so good to be on a bike, getting the blood pumping again.  I worked out more this week than I have in the past 7 months combined! I got my old tan lines back, and I'm lovin it.  And it was all the more fun this week with the combination of the two elders and my companion.  I believe I also laughed more this past week than in the last 7 months.  We named every single dog we saw.  There are a lot of dogs here.  

The area is fantastic.  I'm guessing I will probably finish here, but you never know.  There are not a lot of investigators in progress here, like basically three.  We have a big job to do, but it will be great.  Working on a bike is a lot different- I forgot how much that changes things.  We're going to have to be a little creative in order to find work in the evenings, cuz we can't really just wander around on our bikes once it's dark, but that will work out.  

Something that I forgot to tell you a couple weeks ago that is very important is that I saw a whale.  Not quite the same level as Court, who actually ate one, but it was seriously amazing!  One day I will also tell you about how I touched a whale bone and how whales kind of became the personal theme of my mission, but for now I will just tell you that I stood at the harbor and saw with my very own eyes a real, live whale spout water out of its head in a fountain of glory!  It was fantastic!

Do we really realize how fascinating the Book of Mormon is?  Ive been trying lately to really just internalize the story of the BOM, truly think about how these people felt and how they looked and spoke and everything, and suddenly this book is just fascinating.  Perhaps one of the greatest blessings of my mission is the testimony I've gained of the truth of the Book of Mormon.  If you want to know if it's true, you read it, pray and think about it.  Sometimes the things of greatest value actually do have a very small cost.

Just a last little detail, a sweet thing that happened this week. Bishop from Oremu called me just to check up and see how all was going.  Today when I got on my email he'd forwarded tons of pictures and videos he'd taken while I served there, complete with little commentaries.  Leaving the area didn't mean goodbye forever!

Life is beautiful!  Father in Heaven loves us.  We can always pray to Him.
All my love,
Soeur Mann

#59 - Broken Yet Full

Dear Good People of My Life,

Here is something I learned last night- your heart can be totally broken and perfectly full at the same time.  You know when something happens to you, and you just want so badly for everyone you love to understand how you felt because you want to share it, but you know that there's no way you'll ever be able to explain it well enough?  That's how last night was. 

It was my last night in Oremu, and we had a little last visit with a couple of the people I love most in this world.  It was exactly where I wanted to spend my last moments in the sector- outside around the table in Mami Naomi's garage thing.  I took a moment to just share my testimony and then everyone else shared their testimony, too.  Michel and Moana were there, and one of my best friends here, Thyronn, the one I sent a picture of the other week.  I just can't explain what it meant to me to hear everyone's testimony.  It meant the world.  It was simply soul-filling.  Bishop, who will forever be one of the heroes of my life, gave me some wonderful life counsel.  Two words etched on my heart- "Tapea paari"- fight to the end. 

When we were driving back home I just cried and cried, and I had kind of that same feeling you always get when there's some big life change, like graduating from high school or breaking up with somebody.  I seriously felt like my heart was breaking.  But I felt that sweet feeling that comes in those moments- the absolute assurance that no matter what, no matter what changes or happens in my life, I will always have my Heavenly Father with me.  Always, always, He will be with me, He will understand me, and He will take care of me.  I felt deeply in my heart the love of a Father, and I needed it so much.  And then I had the thought come to me that a couple people in Oremu, Tahiti, now have that same thing.  No matter where they go or what happens in their lives, now they know that Heavenly Father and the Savior are there.  That means everything.The chance to come here and share that knowledge with people is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  That's the epitome of satisfaction- to know that your efforts gave someone eternal good. 

I've been so anxious about leaving the area, so worried about whether I had done enough, and whether I was happy with myself, I've seriously been so worried about it.  I know that I have made lots of mistakes just like every missionary.  I don't really know what to think about that stuff, I'm just glad I believe in the kindness and perfect mercy of Christ to make up for our short-comings.  And wonderfully, and thanks entirely to my testimony of those things, I can happily say that I feel perfect peace.  I have left my heart in Oremu.  I love them.  Forever and ever, they are now I part of my life, and I care about them.  What an amazing thing to be a missionary.  It's different from any other thing.  It's not like other friends you make 'uz you hang out with them and eat pizza.  Its true, real, love and concern for these peoples' well-being.  It is beautiful, and all the scriptures about the joy of this work are true. 

I want everyone to know that I love the Lord. God is good.  He has brought me here, sustained me, and given me more happiness than I ever thought possible.  I love Him!  I love Him, and I thank Him. 

And I love that I still have at least four months to be a missionary!  I want to give my whole heart to it all the way to the end.  My new area is called Pirae, which is just next-door to Papeete.  I'm with Sœur Ariioehau, who is, as Mom would say, "a serious character," and just a crack-up.  We're going to have so much fun.  And I'm back in the saddle again!  As in, I've returned to my trusty ol' green bike after 7 months in a car.  And my area is made entirely of hills.  Wahoo!  That'll do me good.

You know what the biggest message I got from conference was?  Just do it.  It's interesting how everyone gets a different message out of conference depending on what they need or are looking for.  But the feeling I got from the prophets was one of just be brave and do what's right.  Its a principle I've been thinking about a lot because I'm currently reading in Alma about the 2000 stripling warriors.  I have been really struck by this story lately, specifically one episode in chapter 56- Helaman and all the young warriors have been trying to just get away from the Lamanite armies, trying to lead them away by running and running, constantly just trying to get away.  Eventually Helaman realizes something- They cant keep running.  They have to fight. I tried to really imagine this as it really happened- I thought a lot about how Helaman feels about this group of young men. He seriously loves them.  As you read in the chapter, he calls them his little sons multiple times.  What did he seriously feel when he knew that he had to take them into battle, fearing that these innocent young men might all be killed?  He must have spent a moment alone in prayer, and he must have cried.  And then, feeling the worst he has probably ever felt, he goes out to his group of soldiers and asks: 

"Therefore what say ye, my sons, will ye go against them to battle?
 45 And now I say unto you, my beloved brother Moroni, that never had I seen aso great bcourage, nay, not amongst all the Nephites.
 46 For as I had ever called them my sons (for they were all of them very young) even so they said unto me: Father, behold our God is with us, and he will not suffer that we should fall; then let us go forth; we would not slay our brethren if they would let us alone; therefore let us go, lest they should overpower the army of Antipus.
 47 Now they never had fought, yet they did not fear death; and they did think more upon the liberty of their fathers than they did upon their lives; yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
 48 And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it.
 49 And it came to pass that I did return with my two thousand against these Lamanites who had pursued us."

Sometimes we have to stop running and just turn around and fight.  But here is the best part!

 "55 And now it came to pass that when they had surrendered themselves up unto us, behold, I numbered those young men who had fought with me, fearing lest there were many of them slain.
 56 But behold, to my great joy, there had not one soul of them fallen to the earth; yea, and they had fought as if with the strength of God; yea, never were men known to have fought with such miraculous strength"

We can win our battles!  When you read later in the story you realize that every single one of these soldiers was injured.  Doing the right thing doesnt mean it wont be hard or painful.  But we can overcome anything.  We just have turn around and face them with faith.

Thank you for being the good people of my life. 
All my love,
Sœur Mann