#32 - He Lives

Hello, good people of my life!  Ua here vau ia outou!  I love you!

Well, my first week here was wonderful.  There is something special about this area.  From the very first day that I was here, I have loved it.  The other night the thought came to me, "I feel at home."  Not like I actually feel comfortable and homey- I don’t know if I will have that feeling ever on my mission.  But I felt connected to this place.  I loved the members and investigators instantly.  You know, it is a good thing to change sometimes.  Even if we love something, sometimes it is good to leave it.  Changes mean re-starting and progressing, and I love that I got to re-start a little bit with a new area.  

- I love my apartment.  Like, I could live there in regular normal life.  The view from my apartment balcony includes the ocean, the island of Moorea, and a big huge sprawl of houses that reach clear up the mountain.  It is wonderful.  I do everything I possibly can out on the balcony- study, eat, pray.  It is inspiring!  And something else that’s lovely- people here are obsessed with kites.  Kids are always flying these little kites, and it’s just so pretty to look out at the view and see little kites bobbing along in the air.
- Right now we are teaching this amazing young man.  His name is T., he is 13 years old, and I love him so much.  The other day we were teaching him and I suddenly realized why I think I love him so much- it’s because he reminds me of Luke!  He is just an absolute sweetheart and super smart, just like little Bernie.  Whenever we teach, he is listening so hard, you can tell he really wants to learn this stuff.  And he understands things instantly, like sometimes we will barely teach him the basics of a principle, and then we ask him if he understood, and he goes on and explains it in more detail than we even taught him.  But the best thing about T. is the way he treats his brother and sister. He has one little brother and one little sister, and they are so noisy and crazy and silly, and no matter what, T. is always gentle and kind and patient.  He is going to get baptized soon; we are just waiting for his parents to help him pick a date where they can attend.
- I bought a chocolate hollow bunny for Easter.  Some things don’t change.  And that particular tradition is something that will never, ever change.
- Last night we were talking with three of our investigators, three teenage cousins, and you know what?  I was making them laugh.  And the conversation was just flowing.  Do you even understand how good that felt?  I still feel like the loser American who doesn’t know how to act a lot of the time, but I’m starting to figure this all out.  Last night as I was talking to them, I just felt like a normal person talking, not like someone trying to find something to say in French.  What a wonderful moment!  
- Yesterday we got to go to an Easter concert from the stake choir, and we had to pick up some other Elders to go with us.  One of the elders was a friend from my same MTC group. I could see that he was very down.  Turns out he was feeling super disappointed with himself because they’d had a crazy day and he had given a failure of a lesson in Sunday School.  He told me all about it, and I was just bursting to encourage him.  He was so stressed out, but I know this elder, and I know that he is giving his best and working hard, and every time I see him I am so proud of him.  I told him that it was okay, that he is doing wonderful!  Later I was thinking about it and realized that earlier that morning I had been feeling the same exact thing.  I had given a failure of a lesson in Sunday School, we had a crazy disorganized day, and I was so disappointed with myself.  I realized that sometimes it is so easy to see the good others do, like with this Elder and me, to recognize and appreciate their efforts, but when it comes to ourselves, we can never be enough.  I think it’s important to be charitable to ourselves, too.
- I just want to tell everyone that reads this that I know that Jesus Christ is the Savior.   3 And this is ^alife ^beternal, that they might ^cknow thee the only true ^dGod, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast ^esent. 

He really lives.  Because He lives, we will live forever, too, and we can always, always have peace.  

I love you with all my heart!
Happy week!
Soeur Tel

#31 - Transferred

Dear Family, 

I just wrote you a letter. Then I promptly erased it by accident.  How dreadful.

Oh, well!  Here is the update!

I love you!  I love you all with all my heart!

I got transferred!  That’s right, transferred, baby! I seriously have culture shock.  It’s so so different from my last area, and I’m only 30 minutes away.  I’m in the city area!  The hoods!  Heh heh, don’t worry, Mom.  It’s so cool, though.  And yes, I have a car, but don’t worry, it is not stick shift.  Thank heavens.  I will not die in Tahiti.

I was so sad to leave my last area, but it was actually a really cool experience to leave.  The morning I had to leave, I went out to the dumb tiny basketball court where I got up and ran laps every morning, and I stood in the center of the court and cried.  That night my little family came and said goodbye- Papi T. brought his guitar and they all sang me a Tahitian farewell song.  Then off I went to my new area! 

I’m now with Soeur C., whom I will describe in two words: Atti. Tude.  This lady carries around a tiny bottle of Tabasco sauce everywhere we go, just in case we eat, so she can smother her food in spice.  Think Whoopi Goldberg from Sister Act.  That’s her.  So funny.

Today I saw Uncle and Aunt Watson, which was an absolute delight!  They will be calling Grandma soon, I believe!

Okay, I received the absolute best package in the world the other day- to everyone who contributed to the Valentines package- THANK YOU!  It was so, so cute!  Court, I seriously, literally have been thinking about cherry juju hearts since Valentine’s Day.  My body needed those.  It knew it was time.  And, voila!  You sent them!  I eat a couple a day so I can make them last!

Jamie - CONGRATS!!!!!!  Oh my word, Jameston!  I am so happy for you!   I am sending you all my love and a thousand hugs! 

Here is just a little thought/big thought:  Faith is a choice. 

I have to go now- we have a family home evening!  

#30 - Big, Fat Eel

Bonjour, Family!  I love you forever!

- I am SO SO excited because Elder Watson, one of the general authorities of this area, is coming on Monday for a big huge conference with all the missionaries!  And who is this Elder Watson?  Why, it is my very own great uncle!  I seriously am so excited to see him!  My own flesh and blood, right here in Tahiti with me!  I asked if I could have ten minutes to talk to him, so I will let you know how that goes.  Plus I will see Soeur Green!  Monday is going to be splendid!

- Mom, that thought you sent me last week about resilience- I don't think I told you how much that meant to me.  I thought about it all week, and it helped me so much.  I didn't realize that it came from this month’s Ensign, so I was so surprised when my companion was looking through this month's Liahona and pointed out this article on resilience- the same one!  I read the whole thing, and I just soaked it in.  I love this concept of resilience.  It's so weird because I have been trying to pinpoint what it is exactly that I have learned or changed so far on the mission, and I think that is the word.  Facing trials with faith.  Moving forward with hope.  Accepting mistakes.  Learning patiently.  Resilience. 
    The other morning during companionship study, I was starting to have some familiar feelings creep up.  In talking about the day ahead of us and what I needed to do, and things I need to improve and all that, I started to feel anxiety and stress and doubt bubbling up in my heart, and my little eyeballs starting getting all wet with tears and my breathing started getting all fast, but you know what I did?  I said, "No!"  Out-loud, actually!  No, no, no!  I will not cry, I will not be discouraged; I will not be scared of work today.  The thought that came to my mind came from 2 Nephi 4- "I know in whom I have trusted.  My God hath been my support."
    I have been here long enough to learn that God really is here.  I have passed through enough experiences where I thought it would never work out and it did.  I have felt the grace of Christ push me through difficulty and I trust Him now.  I know "I can do all things through Christ which strengthened me."  I know that.  I am learning that you have to be patient and gracious and just move through life one day at a time, and it really does work out.  Heavenly Father really helps us.

- I noticed something.  Every time Christ heals someone, He commands them to do something. When he heals the man confined to his bed, He tells him to stand up and walk.  When He raises Lazareth from the dead, He commands him to come forth.  Even when He calms the ocean, He says, "Be still."  Be.  I’m learning that we are nothing without the grace of Christ.  I mean it.  But progression, healing, faith- they all require so much work.  It is us, who must stand up, come forth, be something.  

- Food update!  I ate EEL!  In shishkabob form!  And I ate three shishkabobs cuz it was delicious!  Not even sarcastic!  A big fat eel that the Papi caught in the river!  

- I might get transferred!  President called and asked if I know how to drive stick shift.  When I responded, "No," he just said that I will have to use all my faith to learn how to drive stick-shift real soon    ...uh...  Okay!  Faith!

- Whenever I feel disconnected from God or not real in tune with Him, I think about you guys.  I think about how much I love you and how deeply glad I am to be sealed to you.  And then I can say a very sincere prayer of gratitude.  And I feel love for Him and the Spirit enters my heart.

I love you all with all my heart!
Happy week!

#29 - Love

Hello, my dearest loved ones!

LIFE IS GOOD.

First of all, I got some letters this week that were just so, so, so lovely!  Mom, the picture of Baby Brenner is the sweetest, most adorable little patriotic thing I have ever seen.  I just want to pinch his little cheeks and kiss him right on the head!  Do that for me next time you see him!  Grandma Mann, every time I see an envelope with your handwriting on it, my heart jumps for joy!  Your letters are so funny and so comforting.  I promise that one of these days I will actually get a letter sent in the mail. Thank you for sending your love clear all the way over here in Tahiti!  I love you so much!  

This picture is of our dinner the other night.  Every single night there is one family scheduled to feed us.  Sometimes they just drop off the food, and sometimes we get to eat at their house, which is 1000x more fun, plus then we get to invite them to help us in the missionary work.  The meals are called faatamaraas.  That means, basically, "The event where you eat" in Tahitian.  This particular faatamaraa was waaay above and beyond.  Soeur Haoatai wanted to give me a little cultural experience, so she decorated everything with these giant leaves and flowers and made tons of Tahitian food.  The decor here, for everything, comes right from their yards.  They just go outside and gather up all these amazing tropical plants and put them around, and ta-da!  Free.  Simple.  Natural.  And so pretty.  It was so sweet of her to go to all the effort and I would just like to tell you about one of the special dishes we ate.  It is call faafaaruu.  What do you think faafaaruu is?  I will tell you.  It is raw fish that has been rotting in sea water for a couple of days.  Hurrah!  Hurrah for comPLETEly overcoming picky eating! 

I want to tell you about our group of ward missionaries in Faaripo.  There are two couples, Mami and Papi Tahi, and the Vivishes, along Frere Hauata and a young adult named Andre that make up our little missionary team.  We have become a family.  Yesterday we went out and visited some member families to ask them to help us find new investigators, and afterwards we met back up at the chapel to discuss how it went.  It turned into a sort of short testimony meeting, and I was really overcome with gratitude for these people.  We all sang "Called to Serve" together, and we sang it with all our hearts!  Afterwards we decided to go all together to visit one of our investigators; a 22 year old named Tuarii, because we heard that his girlfriend of two years had decided to leave him.

So we all piled in the Vivish's truck, Papi and Andre riding in the bed of the truck, and went to see him.  When we showed up, Tuarii's mom went to wake him up from his room.  He came to the door with two big, red puffy eyes.  My heart just broke.  This strong, handsome, confident 22 year old man was totally, completely crushed.  And so we grabbed a bench and some chairs and sat outside with him and talked.  Soeur Vivish sat next to him and hugged him, and we all took a turn sharing our love and comfort, and every single one of us, even Papi Tahi, had tears in our eyes, because we all felt the pain of this young man sitting there crying over his lost love.  It was one of the sweetest experiences of my mission. It was not the regular missionary discussion, but the Spirit was just burning. I thought about our baptismal covenant to "mourn with those that mourn, comfort those that stand in need of comfort." 

We found a lady this week named Sandra, and I just want to write about her because I love her.  We've only had one contact with her, but it was pretty special.  Sandra is a very serious Protestant, and she has an amazing story.  A few years ago she had some terrible sickness that left her paralyzed on her left side and extremely weak.  She talked to us about her love for her husband.  When she got really sick, she worried that her husband would not want to stay with her because she suddenly depended on him for everything and couldn’t take care of herself.  But rather than strain their relationship, they grew in their love as he fed her, bathed her, and carried her where she needed to go.  I could feel how much she adored her husband and so we started to talk about the Temple.  I was so excited to tell her that she and her husband could be sealed for eternity.  We have another lesson with her on Wednesday, and I can’t wait to see how it goes.

Family, I am learning so much.  I feel like this experience is taking so many good things I knew in my head and planting them right in my heart, deeper and deeper.  My love for the Savior is growing.  The reality of His Atonement becomes clearer every day.  I am beginning to understand what it means to be His missionary, and my heart is turning towards Him.  

The other night I was finishing my prayer and I closed with "in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ," and it was like a shock went through me.  I just sat still for a minute.  He is my Savior.  Mine, personally.  He loves me, personally.  As I took the Sacrament yesterday, I thought about that.   

I am realizing more and more that missionary work is not just turning people to a good method of living, or a group of nice principles, but to a living Person.  It is truly turning people to Christ.  And I'm finding that if we open our hearts and have faith, His love and comfort are completely accessible.  I love Him.

I love you all so much!
Life is beautiful!
Soeur Mann