#76 - Last Letter (from Tahiti)

Dear Family, I love you!!

Well. This is my last* letter home from my mission.

The truth is, there is no possible way an email can say what I want to say.  The good news is, that's alright, because I will always be with you forever and ever, and I don't need to say everything right now.

Philippians 4:13- I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.

This scripture really hit me one night when I was sitting on my top bunk in my bedroom at the MTC.  I remember writing it in my journal and feeling so inspired, and I decided that it would be my mission scripture.  I had no idea what I was even getting into. Seriously, no idea. When I look back on the past year, it's kind of like a flip-book, and I see all these images just zipping by: dirt roads, chapels, wooden benches, hundreds of wonderful Polynesian faces.  And I think of all the things my heart went through: joy, doubt, confidence, peace, frustration, anger, patience, humility, fatigue, all of it.  I chose that scripture in the MTC without even realizing to what degree I was heading into the biggest adventure of my life.  

But I can tell you now that it's true.

I remember writing a long time ago a thought I'd had about moving mountains.  That was at the beginning of my mission when I felt like I had just arrived at the bottom of the Himalayas, with just me and a backpack full of scriptures.  

Not being able to communicate: Mountain.
Missing you all to death: Mountain
Trying to bring strangers to the gospel: Mount Everest itself.

And now here I am, 18 months later, and I'm on the other side! I speak French.  I'm coming home to you again.  And there are is group of Tahitians that now know the Savior and live the true joy of His gospel.

It happened.  I literally watched mountains move, and we moved them with a shovel. 

 I really, really hope that all the steps I've taken, all the prayers I've said, all the conversations I've had have done something permanently good for the people I've served.  One thing I definitely do know is that all those steps and prayers and conversations have done something permanently good in my life.

A year or so ago, Mom sent me a necklace with three little silver keys on it.  There was a key representing these three things: hope, faith and charity.  Those are the three things I've gained on my mission.

I can testify without a single doubt- not one doubt- that we have a loving Heavenly Father, a real Person who hears us, helps us, cares about us.  He is our Father, and He is the One who created this marvelous plan that allows us to be here on earth.  Jesus Christ is His Son, our Brother, and He took His turn on this earth 2000 years ago. Because He and the Father love us perfectly, and through that perfect love, He was able to put Himself in our place through the miracle of The Atonement, where he felt and understood us, one by one, and took upon Him the burden of every single wicked thing in this world.  And He overcame all of it. Today, He is the One Person who understands us all truly and is capable of healing us, encouraging us, and empowering us.  He is the Savior.

Think about that.  When you look at the world and see weakness and sadness and regret and disappointment and then you hear that there is One Person that loves us all anyway, does that do something to your heart?  That's hope.

And when your hope is so high and your heart is so full that you are ready to do something to know this Person and be like Him, that's faith.

And when you are trying to be like Him, when you are loving and serving and giving to the point that you start to understand a little bit what He must feel for all of us, that's charity.

I love my mission.  Truly, Christ has strengthened me, and He has moved mountains with me.  And because of Him, I know for myself what the three keys of happiness are.

Life is beautiful.
All my love,
Soeur Mann

*Editor's Note:  This may be her last letter from Tahiti, but it won't be the last thing you hear from her . . .

#73 - Relativity

Hello, all you champs out there!  January 13, 2014, and I still love you!  

And I am still loving my missionary life.  I am very excited for tonight because we are doing a family home evening with a family who are all investigators except for two sons.  Yesterday their sister came to church and said that they have been reading the Book of Mormon as a family... wha?  We are definitely going to be teaching about the Book of Mormon tonight.  We have been praying a lot to find a family to teach, not just one person at a time, and maybe this will be the one!  I hope so!  

Yesterday I was just sitting in a meeting and making this little clicky noise with my fingernails, and I could barely hear it.  I brought my hand up to my ears and kept making the clicking noise, and it was very loud once it was right next to my eardrum.  I started thinking about this Jack Johnson song that I love, which I think is called, "It's All Relative." (Editor's note: "It's All Understood") Was my little clicky noise loud or quiet? - it's relative, it depends on how close you are to the noise.

One of the lessons I have learned on my mission is that lots of things are relative.  People's opinions, perspectives, attitudes, reactions can be so very, very different.  Some little comment at church might be for one person a tiny little click that goes in one ear and out the other, but for another person it was loud, hurtful attack.  You can spend forever debating on what it actually was and who is to blame, but it in the end, it turns out that truly the same exact thing can be taken many ways.  Sometimes that makes it hard to "get" each other.
     
Something I am learning is that that's okay.  Especially living with a companion, I have had to learn that my vision, way of teaching, sense of humor, basically everything, is not actually the only one, true way.  Surprise.  Lots of times I've sat in lessons and thought, "Oh my heck, this is not going well, this is not the route we should be taking..." and so on, and then the next thing I see is the investigator's head nodding up and down- my companion is saying exactly what needed to be said.  I've realized that I need to trust people more and let them be them because their perspective is just as valid as mine.
With this same thought, I've been thinking a lot about the Atonement.  It really makes a lot of sense- of course we needed Him.  We need one Person who understands every single one of us, who "gets" our perspective even if no one else does.  There's so much comfort in knowing that there is one Person who understands us.  It's also comforting to know that there is one Person who understands the "other" person- why they think that, why they are acting like that.  And the most important thing:  He loves both of us.  Infinitely and perfectly, and just the same.  I think the challenge of all this is to filter out and determine what things are relative and what things are not.  But one thing that is sure- we can love everyone and anyone, no matter what their perspective may be.

Now for some regular old Tahiti stuff- this is a picture of me being a real Tahitian vahine. (Tahitian woman)  You can tell I am a vahine by a couple of things.  1.  I am holding some pineapples that I am about to eat.  These pineapples were given to us by a recent convert that sells them at a little stand on the side of the road next to the ocean.  We stopped over there to see how she was... and we both secretly hoped she would give us some fruit.  Our wish was granted!  2.  I am wearing a pareo, the little skirt-y things you tie around your waist.  I love them.  I intend to wear them forever. Something I am not looking forward to in my future life- wearing jeans again.  Those things are not meant for humans to wear, in my opinion.  I think we should all convert to pareos.  Might be a little cold, but we can deal.

Last night I was just sleeping in my bed, and I heard a loud BANG.  The door had slammed shut, and I really, truly believed there was a scary guy in our room, and he'd just slammed the door shut.  My poor little heart.  I said, calmy and loudly, "Soeur Paraurahi." She woke up.  And I promptly began to speak to her in English.  Ha ha! Too scared to remember French!  The sweetie pie turned on the light and I finally got it together to explain myself.  She was not even bugged and got up to search the house for the imagined scary guy.  Turns out is was just the opened upper-window in the bathroom, the wind had shut the door.  I will love her forever for not being mean about that dumb moment.

A few nights ago we ate with a young couple for our nightly dinner appointment.  I love their house- it reminds me of the wooden-y, boat-y houses like on the movie "Popeye."  So tiny and cozy, and I felt so comfortable with them.  We finished eating, and I started to ask them about their conversion story.  I was so touched by their story- the husband was a serious, deep bible studier before he met the missionaries.  He was invited to a family home evening and was really touched to see a family interacting like that.  The first time the missionaries came over and told him about Joseph Smith, he believed.  He said that he knew God could and would call a prophet after the time of Christ, and he felt the Spirit instantly tell him that it was right.  The Spirit was so strong in that little room.  After he finished telling his story, I asked if we could say a prayer together, just before heading out.  He asked me to say the prayer.  As I knelt down, my heart was so full of thanks.  So thankful to be here, so thankful for kind people, thankful for prophets and scriptures, and the Spirit that we all felt together.  I just said a prayer of thanks.  

I am thankful for life.  I am thankful for all of you.  
All my love,
Soeur Mann

#75 - Sorry

Bad news; no letter this week from Micail.  But for those who are interested, she will be coming home on February 12.  She will be speaking in our ward on February 23 at 11:00.  We have a big ward, so if you are coming, you want to be here by 10:50 or so.  Here are links to the blogs for the other Sister Mann and Sister King.  
http://sisterameliamann.blogspot.com/ 
http://sistercourtneyking.blogspot.com/

#74 - Crab Story

Bonjour to one and all!  I love you!

- I would like you to know, Amelia, that your hair is famous even in Tahiti.  We talked about you in our ward council yesterday.  Haha!  I told my bishop the story about you singing for the Christmas thing and how people remember you easily because of your head, and he mentioned that little story in ward council.  Truly, you are so blessed to have your hair.  But the real point of this story is this- after telling them about you singing in Brazil, my ward got all curious and they're like... "Waaaait... your little sister plays piano and sings and you dooon't?..."  Right after our meeting they were having a choir rehearsal for our little missionary fireside this Saturday.  The bishop's wife literally came up and said, "I KNOW you can play piano, Soeur Mann.  You say a prayer right now and ask Heavenly Father help your fingers play the piano for our choir rehearsal."  Oh, boy.  That's what you get when your little sister's all talented and stuff.  You have to follow in her stinking footsteps.  But actually, it was wonderful!  K, I really couldn't play all the songs with all four parts at once.  No can do- but!  I was able to play the parts one by one so our little choir could learn the harmonies!  And we had a blast!  And I will be singing a little solo this Saturday of "We Thank Thee Oh God for a Prophet."  It was such a fun evening to sing with these members and laugh and enjoy.  I'm definitely not a pianist, but I was so thankful that I could help a little bit.  Thanks, Mom and Dad, for the piano/voice lessons.  Thanks, Mill, for inspiring our little choir.  Thanks, Luke, even though this story has nothing to do with you, it feels like you should be a part of this little thank-you moment.  You rock.

- I would now like to tell you a little story about two crabs.  It seems my emails kind of have themes.  Right now we are on the "crab" theme.  Sorry.  But I really do want to tell you about this little experience, because I thought it was pretty interesting.  So I was sitting outside just an hour or so ago while Soeur Paraurahi was doing her emails, and I was trying to read my scriptures, but I couldn't really focus cuz something kept clankin' around in the tin garbage can next to my feet.  It was two little crabs.  I really have no idea how they got in the garbage can, but they were in there just causing a ruckus, so I put down my scriptures and decided to observe them.  For awhile I just left them in there and watched them try and get out.  I didn't really want to let them out, cuz I didnt know if the people who live here put them in there or what.  But finally it was just getting too sad.  They were struggling and struggling with all their might, but every time they tried, they would slip down the sides of the can.  Finally I decided it was time to give them a little help.  I took the can out into the yard and flipped it over so they could crawl out.  The first little guy was so funny.  At first he kind of hesitated, tip-toed out to the sun, and the second he realized he was back in the grass, he sprinted with glee, click-click-click, back to his hole, as fast as his happy little crab legs could carry him!  Then I waited and waited for the second crab to come out.  Instead he just sat there in the very back of the can, all covered in trash.  I tried to move the trash a little bit to show him, hello, you can come out now... but he was just sitting back there all cranky.  I finally gave up and went back to my scriptures and he just sat there lamely in the trash.

So of course I started thinking about my scriptures, and my investigators, and life, and these two crabs.  First of all, I realized that sometimes we find ourselve stuck in a bunch of trash.  Everybody has that.  Sometimes we crawl or fall into it, sometimes someone dumps us in there, it doesn't really matter though, because all we know is we are stuck in a bad thing and we cant get out. And so many times, we have to ask for help.  No matter what we do, we'll never make it alone.  Addiction, low self-esteem, fighting at home, gossiping, lack of motivation, all that trash.  One thing I know for sure is that there is truly, truly Someone who can help.  When we are humble and ask the Savior to help us out of a problem, he always does.  I've seen that over and over in my life and plenty of lives here on my mission.

One hard and good reality, though, is this:  He doesn't take us out of the trash.  He will always, always turn the can over and make a path, but we are the ones that have to climb out.  When I was looking at that crab just sitting in his little corner, I thought, "Why the heck aren't you coming out?  It's all sunny and great, I turned the can over, just move your feet four inches and you're free!"  Maybe he was scared.  Maybe he was mad at his friend for getting out so fast and leaving him there.  Maybe he was embarrassed that I had to help him and he didn't want to admit it.  Maybe he just didn't realize what a good chance this was.  

The point is, it was up to him.  And it is up to us, too!  When we want out of a bad situation or a bad habit, we really can ask for help.  Heavenly Father loves us, and he wants us to be free, happy, clickin across the yard with a big smile on our face.  But He cannot and will not force us to change.  We have to decide to leave the garbage behind.  

I have a testimony that people can leave the garbage behind.  It is so hard, sometimes, but it is worth it.  Also, just because we missed a first chance or took a long time doesn't mean we can't ever get out.  The second little crab finally did decide to crawl out.  He just waited til I stopped watching.  And now he is probably happily embracing his little crab wife down in their little crab house under the sand.  

 I love our Heavenly Father and His wise, good plan of salvation that lets us choose and grow.  I love our Savior Jesus Christ for helping us along the way.  I love you all.  Life is beautiful!

All my love,
Soeur Mann

#72 - Things About My Life

Io ora na, to'u utuafare here!  I love you forevah!

Things about my life:
- Before my mission I looked up all the Tahiti pictures on google and stuff and it always looked so tropical and gorgeous and all that.  On my mission I've seen some very beautiful places, but I was kinda like.... those google images were kind of a scam...  Well, guess what?  No they weren't.  Moorea looks exactly as picturesque as all those incredible photos you see online.  It's real.  I have been here a week and I am still in awe.  I didn't realize that places this beautiful existed in real life.  This morning I was cleaning the bathroom upstairs (I have my own bathroom nowadays- life is so good) and I sat in the windowsill and put my feet on the roof and just sat still and looked at all of it.  
- Life here is different from Tahiti, even though we really aren't far away.  It's so calm and simple and perfect.  It's like a spiritual refuge.  Something a little difficult is that they do speak a lot more Tahitian over here.  Time for me to tell you guys something- I really don't speak Tahitian very well at all.  There are words I use all the time, but my mission has mostly taken place in French-town.  So when I got here and everyone was like, "A mea papu roa te reo tahiti ia oe?"  I was like... shoot.  But I have been amazed at the help Heavenly Father has given me.  Here is something I have definitely observed this past week- the Spirit is real, and He really does open our minds.  I have seen the gift of tongues, the actual, real-deal gift of tongues, at work this week.  Yesterday I went to relief society in Tahitian.  They do one class in French and the other in Tahtitian.  Our class was held outside, just a few old mamis and us sittin' on some folding chairs.  It rained a little bit, but no one even cared.  And the wonderful thing- I understood!  Certainly not everything, but I followed along, and I have learned firsthand on my mission this truth:  When our spirits are well, when we are obedient and grateful, the Spirit really does come.  And he really does teach us and help us.  That is a fact.  I'm not really planning on speaking fluent Tahitian like a pro in the next 5 weeks, but I am grateful I get to practice it more because I really love this language.  Its a language that represents the culture and people I love.  
-   Last night we were eating dinner (chicken cooked in coconut milk with taro) and I look over and see a large crab sitting there eating his dinner, too.  There are crabs all over the place here.  People's yards are sometimes literally made of sand, so the crabs come and dig holes all over.  At night they come out and they scramble around all over the place.  Something I didn't realize is that crabs actually feed themselves with their little pincer hands.  They just sit upright and bring their hands to their mouths, just like us.  I was so charmed by that funny little crab- me and him, just eatin' our dinner together at the same time.
- Those same darling crabs are also smushed all over the street in the form of road-kill.  I do love them, but it is also I little bit satisfying to crunch a crab.  Two days a week we have a car, and you really can't avoid them.  But I figure they were already living in paradise, so their transition to the spirit world is probably a breeze.  Sorry, crabbies!
- I straight-up adore my companion!  Another soul sister discovered on the mission!  Soeur Atamoe Paraurahi lives true to her name and talks a whole lot, and I love it.  I look forward to our companionship studies every day because she just cracks me up.  She is totally cool about everything, never stressin out, never too worked up, and she is completely obedient and dedicated to the work.  Its so fun to work with someone who likes to work.  It makes life very pleasant.  She is from the island of Raiatea.  Something I love about her is that she just lets me be me.  And she laughs at hard things or obnoxious things, rather than get cranky or worried.  Huge blessing to finish my mission with such a great companion.
- Our bishop is 29 years old.  He wears t-shirts and hats turned backward.  Cool.
- There are no streetlights on this island.  When we ride our bikes home at night, its just a billion bright stars, palm trees, and the ocean waves crashing.  
- The sisters in this area rocked it, and basically all their investigators got baptized last month!  Amazing!  Now we have lots of work to do to find new investigators to teach.  I'm at the point in my mission where there is no fear, nothing to lose, faith in this message is sure, so opening my mouth and talking to people is not hard anymore.  I know this message is true.  I know that living the gospel will bring these people joy.  So it's not scary anymore to talk about it. 
- I got a card from Trina the other day that sang me a lovely loud song and made my day!  Thank you, Trina!  She said she likes to hear about the food, so I will tell you a little more about the food.  My favorite Tahitian dish?  U'ru pua'atoro.  English translation: Cooked breadfruit with corned beef.  You eat it nice and hot. With your hands.  Attached is a picture of a sweetie pie Papi cookin some u'ru (breadfruit) Tahitian style.  One thing I never want to eat again for the rest of my life:  chow mein.  Something odd about Tahiti is that their main food source in the evenings are these little restaurants run out of the back of vans.  They all sell the same food: lemon chicken, beef and brocoli, and chow mein.  If I ever eat chow mein again....  
- Something I learned and believe this week:  The bible dictionary entry under "revelation of John"- at the end of the paragraph it says that all the prophets since the beginning of time have prophesied of the final days when Christ would come again. The part that stood out to me: They all taught "that the end would be better (more glorious) than the beginning. The victory would be achieved through Jesus Christ." 
- I believe that phrase with all my heart.  The end will always be better than the beginning.  Along the way, there are ups and downs and happy and sad, and it's best to just stay where you are and get what you can out of the present moment.  No need to rush anything.  But people who believe in Christ, that He loves us, that He cares about us, and that life is eternal, know that there is always more good to come.  
- Family, I know Christ lives.  Life is beautiful!  
All my love,
Soeur Mann
The Other Sister Mann's Blog

# 71 - Moorea

People, people!  I have an announcement to make!  I am actually in Paradise at this very moment!  I took a boat this morning on the real, live Pacific Ocean, and I arrived on my sweet island home for the next 6 weeks, the beautiful island of Moorea.  And I LOVE it.  And I love you, too.  We won't forget to say that first thing.  I am just pretty darn stoked to be here.  What a cool blessing to be able to finish my mission in this gorgeous place.  It is totally different from Pirae, where I just was, which is in the city.  Now I am back to true-blue Tahitian living, totally the "island cool" style of life, and I can't wait to put my heart into this area with all I've got until the end.  

The first picture is of where the boat drops you off- on the boat I was excited to be a missionary all by myself, so I tried talking to some people.  The first guy rejected me hard-core.  Shame, because he was from New Zealand, and I thought it would be cool to talk about the gospel in English.  No-go.  But the second man was extremely nice and smiley, and randomly lives right in Pirae, my area I just left.  I bought myself a quiche and ate it with the ocean wind just whippin through my hair and felt 100% happy.

The second photo is of where I actually am in this exact second, and the girl is my wonderful new companion, Soeur Paraurahi, which means "talks a lot."  We get along great so far, and I can see I'm going to love her.

Folks, I would love to write some more things, but I'm a little too excited to be here, and I just want to go explore.  Plus my companion's bike tire just blew up, so we gotta figure that out.  

Family, I was so happy to see you on Christmas, especially Grandma and the Bradleys- good surprise Christmas present!  I love you dearly.  Talking to Mill was especially cool- the one single time we'll both see each other as missionaries. Maybe. Im' pretty sure I'll have a badge on again some day.  Hopefully a couple more times.  Missions are good.

For New Years resolutions, here's my thought- we really can do anything.  Millzie played the piano and sang in Portuguese in front of a billion people in Brazil. (Amelia's Blog) Really, we can do big stuff.  Set cool resolutions this year- life is beautiful!

All my love,
Soeur Mann
(Editor's Note: You can hear about the third picture on February 23rd at 11:00 AM in the Hyde Park 1st Ward.)

#70 - Merry Christmas!

Sorry I didn't write a big letter this week because I'm going to talk to you on Wednesday.  I hope you guys have already watched "It’s a Wonderful Life" - if not, drop everything and do that.  

Jesus Christ is the reason our family is happy and will be together forever.  Our family loves Him so much.  I'm so glad I had these two Christmases away from you, because I will celebrate it differently, at least in my heart, forever.  Have a wonderful Christmas Eve Eve today and a happy, happy day tomorrow.  We have a true reason to celebrate - He lives!

I love you.
Tel